Psychology of a man at 40. Secrets of the psychology of men

Psychologists claim that the most difficult period for a man is the age from 37 to 43 years. It is also called a midlife crisis . The psychology of a man in his 40s is a subject of study for leading experts, since it is very difficult to find answers to many questions. This fatal period can bring significant damage to all spheres of a man’s life. At the same time, not only one's own self-esteem suffers, but also personal life.

Reasons for Disappointment

A 35-40 year old man is pretty predictable. The woman is no longer surprised by his poor mood and constant reproaches. A short list of men's “works” can be given.

• "I want more freedom, you limit me and do not allow me to live in peace." And it doesn’t matter that these “interests” are completely incompatible with the role of the husband.
• "I work a lot, so I will live the way I want." Although, at the same time, the wife can also spend all day at work, and in the evenings do housework and children. What matters is only what the man does.
• "You follow me and forbid me to communicate with friends."
• "You are a bad mother and raised children incorrectly." To the wife’s counter-question: “What were you doing at that time?” - at best, you can get one answer: “Worked”.
• “You are only interested in your own hobbies and interests, you are not interested in my life.” But if a wife shows interest in her husband, this is perceived as an interference in his personal space and control.
• “You only need my money.”
• “The house is dirty, the children are rude, the food is tasteless.” The wives of 40-year-old husbands have to listen to this “song” daily.
• "Do not ask why I behave this way; you still won’t understand."
• “Why am I suffering? I have one life, let's get divorced. ”

When a man turns 40, he thinks of only one thing - to escape from the “prison” in which he finds himself. He is depressed by the fact that every day you need to return to the evil witch, when there are so many beautiful fairies around. Such a “breaking” leads to the fact that a man destroys his family and sets off to meet the new and the unknown. The fact that another life is not always better is of little concern to him during this period. He is sure that a miracle awaits him ahead, which will bring happiness.

Man is a hero

40 years old man - this is the age when he begins to take stock. If he has certain successes, then he sincerely considers himself a winner and longs for universal approval and delight. First of all, from the wife. But she cannot always share his confidence in her own exclusiveness. The wife ceased to admire her husband and compliment him, which greatly affects his pride. Photos of men who are in this state often betray their dissatisfaction.

To satisfy his ambitions, a man is looking for a girl who will look at him with love eyes and catch every word. It seems to him that if you do not find such a fan now, then it will be too late. This fear is so strong that a man is ready to rush into the pool with his head and destroy everything that was created by such labor.

Youth is flowing away

The man begins to realize that the fifth dozen has been exchanged, moreover, the body begins to play pranks: it’s sick there, then it’ll fly over here. The realization that old age is not as far away as it seemed a couple of years ago, and perhaps the best years were left behind, causes a man to panic. Photos of men who were taken several years ago are another confirmation of this.

erectile dysfunction

Women may not even try to understand what this means for a man. The fear of impotence or a weak erection can not be compared with the feelings of the fair sex about a new wrinkle or cellulite. Sexual dysfunction for a man is like the end of life. When a man reaches 45, his psychology changes.

Even if there is no real problem, such thoughts make a man angry and aggressive. He is annoyed by trifles and tries to get rid of internal negativity. But under stress, testosterone - the hormone of aggression, splashes out in large quantities, so it turns out a vicious circle. Often it is the wife who becomes the hostage of the situation.

The psychology of a man at the age of 40 has a characteristic feature - he is fully focused on his own achievements and intimate victories. He is confident that sexual relations with his wife have already outlived themselves and are not satisfying. There is only a sense of duty, which does not inspire exploits at all. Rather, the opposite. The man feels unhappy, he understands that he was tortured by his wife’s claims and that she blames her for the fact that his dreams have not yet been realized. During the crisis, he does not want to take care of children and delve into their problems, all this does not seem to him important. The main thing now is your own ego and satisfaction of your needs.

Of course, in all troubles, in the understanding of a man, the wife is to blame. He is sure that she has ceased to understand him, that he is single in the family and everyone uses him.

Forty Years Crisis - A Real Earthquake

The psychology of a man in his 40s is such that he is peddling and not thinking about anything. The thirst for freedom is very strong, and it seems to him that if you do not “jump into the departing train” now, then it will be too late.

Initial psychology and specialists are sure that at this age the behavior of a man is similar to that of a teenager, and his thoughts are just as confusing. He wants romance and thrills, so he has a light affair and flirts with everyone. The most interesting thing is that a man sincerely thinks that he is in love. For the sake of his passion, he is ready to deceive his wife and forgets about the children. Inspiration is given to him only by that woman who absolutely does not look like his demanding and evil wife.

How a forty-year-old married man behaves

Almost every wife of a forty-year-old husband noticed changes in his behavior that were caused by interest in other women. At the beginning of the “spree”, a man may not plan to leave his family, but a new sexual charge and long-forgotten emotions give him an incentive to live. Indeed, the passion for his wife has long abated, although not every woman is ready to admit this fact.

The peak of sexual activity occurs at the age of thirty, therefore it is quite natural that by the age of forty a man is no longer so strong in this regard. But this state of affairs does not suit him at all, so he blames the woman for everything. In his understanding, it was she who could not “get it”.

A man seeks confirmation of his own theory on the side. With new women, he feels quite confident, which is not surprising, because emotions are strong, and novelty always excites imagination. But over time, everything returns to normal, because it is impossible to deceive nature.

The psychology of men in the family is such that if the wife accepts such a situation and does not consider it necessary to destroy the family because of her husband’s “dope”, then marriage can exist in this mode for several more years. Most likely, when the crisis is over, the husband will again become loving and caring. But not every woman is ready to forgive the betrayal.

Peak Divorces

When the age of "man after 40" comes, his psychology changes dramatically. Everything that he once strove for, now seems to him completely irrelevant. He easily leaves his family and is firmly convinced that he will never return there. Well, who voluntarily returns to prison? But over time, his life with a new good fairy turns into a theater of absurdity: a man begins to compare her with his “old” wife, whom, as it turned out, he cannot completely let go. Again, obligations begin to weigh on him, so he “escapes” to where he can be alone.

What to do to the woman

There is an opinion that a man’s interest can be returned with the help of a new image. But, as practice shows, this is complete nonsense. A woman should always look after herself and look well-groomed, regardless of her husband's attitude to her.

Most often, a man goes not to the woman who is younger or prettier, but to the one who, as he thinks, understands him better and does not require anything, agreeing to his "rules of the game." It is such a young lady who attracts him the most. He does not want to "strain", spend a lot of money on courtship and sacrifice his interests for the sake of a woman. But the most important thing that a man is looking for is novelty.

If a woman wants to save a family

In this case, she needs to shut her mouth and not discuss the misbehavior of her husband. If a woman can show wisdom, then the man will “go wild” and return to the family. Do not share your problem with friends and neighbors, so as not to cause unnecessary gossip.

You can enlist the support of the mother-in-law, because she is unlikely to approve of the behavior of her married son. But sometimes you can “run into” the opposite situation: the mother-in-law can blame the wife for all the troubles, because she is a poor housewife and cooks tastelessly. And in general, husbands do not leave good wives. So it’s worth several times to think about whether to interfere with the family problems of parents.

Who is this rival

A man is unlikely to tell himself who his lover is and with whom he is cheating on his wife. Therefore, almost all women try to independently obtain information about the opponent, so as not to fight the enemy with their eyes closed. But it will not lead to anything good, except for mental torment. Moreover, you do not need to look for contacts with your mistress and find out relations with her. It will be an unconditional loss.

If a woman wants to save her family, her husband cannot be kicked out on her own. When behind you life is soul to soul, do not make decisions in a rush. Often a man in this difficult period for him expects support, understanding and actions from his wife, but he behaves so aggressively that his behavior repels. At this moment it seems to him that he will always think so. But someday the crisis will end, and returning the family will fail. As life shows, it is at this moment that a man appears in his wife who loves her and her children and is ready to roll mountains for them.

How to help a man

So, a man after 40 ... His psychology during this period implies a certain waterline that divides life into "before" and "after". As soon as the wife sees the first symptoms of the crisis, it is worth spending more time on the man, surrounding him with unobtrusive care and warmth.

During this period, the man begins to think about health and prefers to eat right. The wife needs to take this nuance into account and diversify or completely change the usual diet. If the husband is pretty smart, he will appreciate the efforts and patience of his wife and will not allow betrayal in the form of treason. After such a test, their life can radically change and become even better than it was before the crisis. A man must be aware of every act and understand what he can lead to. The craving for novelty, no matter how strong it may be, should not prevail over reason and adequacy.

Four crisis models

The psychology of a man at 40, as well as behavior, is changing dramatically. Experts distinguish four crisis models.

• The world is crumbling. It seems to the man that he does not succeed, life passes by and all desires remain unfulfilled.
• Pseudo-development. A man is completely dissatisfied with his life, although there are no obvious reasons for this. But at the same time he ostentatiously radiates happiness.
• Resentment towards fate. It is more difficult for a person with such thinking to overcome the crisis.
• Full implementation. A man who is confident in his abilities and does not suffer from hidden complexes overcomes this difficult period with the least losses. He does not ruin the family and does not indulge in all serious. Life taught him that problems should be solved, not run away from them.

Knowing the secrets of the psychology of men, you can survive a fatal crisis without spoiling your life and without causing pain to people around you who sincerely love and worry.