In a family with several children, there will always be a lack of attention to someone. But the parents are able to change this situation. But if adults are not careful enough, then one of their girls may develop a sister complex. What is it and how to treat it, read below.
Elder sister
In a family with several children, there are always problems. Even if no one speaks openly about the complexity of the situation, this does not mean that everything in the family is all right. The situation is especially complicated if the family has two same-sex children, for example, girls. One of them will definitely develop a sister complex. What it is? This is a set of qualities that are formed in a child from a lack or overabundance of love and attention. How does the older sister complex manifest?
- Responsibility. Girls who are forced to help with their mother’s childhood grow up very quickly. They feel a burden of responsibility, which makes a difference in age with a sister or brother.
- Fast growing up. A responsible child quickly becomes a teenager, and then a mature personality. Of course, it’s good when a person can be responsible for his actions and actions. But still, a child who was deprived of the joy of childhood will suffer from this all his life.
- The need to be an authority. A person who has always been set as an example will retain a lifelong addiction to leadership. The girl, and then the woman, will always and always try to prove that she is the best.
- Need to patronize someone. A child who is used to taking care of a younger brother or sister will take care of everyone in the future. A girl can become a second mother to her young man or husband.
- Excessive courage. The passion always and in everything to be the first will remain with the girl for life. The older sister knows how to take responsibility for actions, and she is not afraid of anything, as she is used to always being the first.
Younger sister
If the oldest child is unlucky with character, then it must be that the youngest lives very well? But this is not so. There is a complex of a younger sister, which appears in girls, whose parents did not much work on their upbringing. What is it manifested in?
- Innovators. Older children do everything as parents tell them. But the younger ones can take the initiative. They are more open to the world and can do what they like. They are not afraid to come up with, and then realize the most daring ideas.
- Good communicators. Since older sisters and brothers are always distinguished by physical strength, the younger ones have no choice but to learn how to win in disputes thanks to a well-suspended language. Younger children are more sociable than older ones, they are more insightful and more open.
- Less responsible. The sister complex manifests itself in the youngest child in the absence of responsibility for their actions. In childhood, the oldest child is always blamed for all troubles. He is guilty of overlooking the younger. Girls get used to this trend and assume and think that responsibility can always be avoided.
- Selfish. Younger children are always spoiled more strongly than older ones. Parents have the opportunity and desire to acquire expensive toys and all kinds of sweets. The child sees that he is given increased attention and believes that this is the norm of life.
Middle sister
It may seem strange, but for those children who were born between the senior and middle, life is not always sweet. The complex of the sister happens in those girls who could not self-identify, and in those that parents deprived of their attention.
- Non-initiative. A child for whom there is always not enough time will not be able to grow up as a full member of society. He will always be afraid to do something, since in childhood he was constantly told that he was too big to indulge in, but too small to be clever.
- Fearful. The middle sister often remains in the care of the older child. She is always protected and rarely plays with peers. And if necessary, the girl can cry, and the older relative will always come to the rescue.
- Smyrny. Since the average child does not have the opportunity to communicate with peers, he gets used to being responsible and at the same time sitting quietly when the elders talk. Opportunities to splash out your energy simply do not exist and the girl quickly gets used to it.
- Jealous Since parents devote more time to the baby, girls are usually very worried about this. Middle children secretly envy the youngest child, and this resentment settles in their soul forever in the form of jealousy.
Roles
- Cinderella. A child to whom parents always say what needs to be done quickly becomes responsible and too sensible. He has no time to play. We have to cook dinner, change diapers for sisters or brothers, walk a dog or weed flowers.
- Scapegoat. Usually they become an older girl. Blame is blamed on her for everything that would not happen in the house. Even if it is not the eldest daughter who is objectively guilty, she is found guilty of overlooking.
- Good girl. This role is usually played by younger sisters. They are obedient, spoiled and incredibly sweet. They know how to create a good impression of themselves.
The first pancake is lumpy
When two sisters grow up in a house, one of them usually turns out to be cute and very sociable, and the other is a shy modest. And the eldest is usually the shy. It was her parents who brought up how they could. They took her to all kinds of circles, to the development sections and to sports. The child did not have time to relax or play. The girl spent her free time reading books that her parents fed her. Having trained on the first child, the parents raised the second in more free conditions.
Who is happier?
If you look at how differently the two sisters grew up, the question involuntarily arises: which of the girls is happier? It is definitely impossible to answer it. If parents are not deprived of mind, then both girls are happy. They should have the same conditions for development. If the parents were conniving to their position as an educator, then in the family two children will be unhappy. But for some reason there is an opinion that the second child is a minion of fate. Maybe it happens, up to 10 years, but over time, this girl can repeatedly come back to haunt.
Parenting Mistakes
- Compare one child with another. If you do not want to hang complexes for your daughters, never compare them with anyone else. Each child is unique and parents should understand this.
- Expect from one child what another could not achieve. If you wanted your eldest daughter to go dancing, but she chose to draw, no need to break away on the youngest child. If the little girl has an addiction to music, you will have to accept that neither the eldest nor the youngest daughter will dance.
- To get a pet. If you decide to show tenderness, then show it to two children equally. No need to think that the eldest daughter needs less tenderness than the younger.
Useful Tips
What is the role of the child in the family? Psychologists say that children help parents to realize and strengthen love bonds. A child is a continuation of a person and you need to invest in it free time and a lot of energy. What are the main tasks of parents in raising sisters?
- Make friends with children. If girls make friends, this will be a great achievement. Daughters should take each other not just as sisters, but as best friends.
- Give children the same amount of attention. Girls should know that their parents love them equally. And thoughts about which of the children’s favorite should not be born in the child’s head.
- Let each child do what he likes. The child himself will choose the path for the realization of which he was born. Parents should help the child realize their abilities and aspirations, and not impose their desires.