Everyone needs communication, friends and pals. We meet with them in our free time, invite them to the holidays, ask for advice, and support in difficult situations. In youth, friends are very important, practically on a par with family. However, years go by, people get families, children, build a career, and there is very little time for friends. This situation is more familiar to the fairer sex, which can not be said about male friendship. Sometimes it seems that relationships cannot be stronger, friends can take first place in a man’s life for a long time. This raises the question of how to ward off a husband from friends: a conspiracy or a heart-to-heart talk?
What to do?
This situation is not simple and even sometimes requires the intervention of a family therapist. What to do, how to discourage a bad friend from her husband, if you don’t feel like swearing, but there’s no more strength to endure. The situation is aggravated if this friend, in addition to everything, is not married. This family life is alien to him, and he will never understand why the wife of his friend meets with an oblique gaze and tries to quickly clear out. The options for how to discourage her husband from friends, a lot. From the most conservative to tough measures.
Intimate talk
To begin with, you as a wise wife should talk with your husband. Calmly, without emotion, explain to him what is bothering you, make it clear that you have nothing against such friendship at all, but you love him and want to spend time together more often so that there is no stranger between you, even if this is a friend childhood. Psychologists advise to mention that you married one man, and in the set you got more friends. If your husband still does not understand your claims, you should change tactics.
Download husband
Another position is as follows: if your husband can easily find an extra couple of hours to meet with friends, he will quite find the time for housework. You can discourage a husband from friends by banal search for housework for him, but it is important to interest him in her. You can also direct all your efforts to strengthening family happiness. For example, confront him with the fact that every Sunday you plan to visit cultural places. No matter what it will be: a movie, a theater, a museum, an amusement park. Thus, when it comes to business there will be not only children, your family will become more friendly and united. This, of course, provided that such sorties will take place on a regular basis.
Don't do tragedy
Even if you don’t like that your husband spends a lot of time with friends, you should not completely block his oxygen and forbid him to communicate with them, bringing family life to an eternal conflict state. Psychologists advise to distinguish between days when the spouse will go on gatherings with friends, and when to relax at home. You, too, must realize that such meetings for your husband are a spiritual rest, and this is very important for each person. The best way to discourage your husband from friends is to do it gradually. Do not forget also that you have the right to gatherings with girlfriends, a couple of hours once a week - this is just what you need. Such a compromise will surely please the spouse, and he will agree.
What if my husband’s friends do not like you?
Someone’s husband just spends a lot of time with friends, and others sometimes hear rumors that they are categorically not carried over by the spouse’s friends. They do not repeat the most pleasant things about you, that you cook tastelessly, that you are getting fat after giving birth and in general, as soon as their beloved friend suffers such a kimquimore nearby. Yes, the situation is unpleasant, and here comes the time when only radical measures will solve the problem. This is because such friends can exert a devastating influence on your husband, and in the future nothing can remain of your family. You may need to talk not only with your husband, but also with his friends.
Psychologists explain this behavior of men as follows: in a male company, everyone is quite jealous of the appearance of a serious relationship with any of his friends. They constantly convince themselves that they are still young, and their whole life is ahead, you can find someone better. And after the wedding, they try by any means to compensate for the absence of a friend and, at the slightest opportunity, try to drag him into their adventures, as in the good old days. This is where the conflicts begin, jealousy, constant showdown. If your husband’s friends behave ugly towards you, this most likely means only one thing - your spouse did not properly explain to his friends that his choice is serious and informed, and that he loves you very much.
In any case, when you decide to act, it does not matter what it will be (the plot “How to Drive Bad Friends from Your Husband” or a regular conversation), remember that any person should have his own personal space and time, which he himself is free to manage. For example, you like shopping and movies with friends on Saturdays, and your husband - to relax in the company of friends. Do not forbid him to do this, such behavior will only entail new conflicts, try to make sure that no one is offended.
Where to begin?
They say you want to change the world - start with yourself, in this situation the principle is exactly the same. A woman should start with herself. If the husband runs to friends as soon as possible, then there are reasons for this. Ask yourself, are you too often scandals and tantrums? Do not be capricious beyond measure? Constant reproaches, quarrels, clarification of relationships simply have to quickly leave home. Therefore, think about the fact that the reason for frequent departures may be in you. There is a conspiracy to ward off the husband’s friends will not help.
The only way is a frank conversation with your other half. If the husband refuses to engage in dialogue, try to analyze the situation on your own. Create comfort in the house, cook delicious dinners, clean up your intimate life in the end! To a wife who values ​​her husband, takes care of him, I want to run as fast as I can. Another thing is if a man is simply not communicating with you, and he is trying in every way to fill this gap. Things are more complicated in trying to ward off a drunk friend from your husband who simply destroys your man from the inside.
Taking action
If you can’t solve the problem by talking, it’s time to resort to active measures. Do not scandal, do not scream, think over the situation and try to simply distract your fiancé from gatherings with friends. Call them as little as possible, and in return invite other couples. When the husband gets used to communicating with other people, perhaps he will have new interests and aspirations, and not just thoughts about how to have a good time with friends. Over time, a man will feel the difference and will no longer seek to spend time with those who pull him down.
Why does the husband choose friends?
Psychologists say that there is a certain list of factors that simply “kick” men out of the house. If you determine exactly what your problem is, it will be much easier to solve it:
- Difficulties in relations with his wife.
- Discomfort in the walls of the house.
- Excessive intimacy with friends, a habit.
- Infantilism.
To discourage a husband from friends, you need to listen to the advice of sisters in misfortune, who managed to do this.
Wise Wives Tips
If an adult man continues to behave as if he is 18 years old, preferring a fun holiday with friends, then you need to solve the problem urgently and harshly. Women who have encountered such a problem advise the following:
- Touch his owner’s instinct. If your husband does not compromise in any way, no dialogues, joint vacations and meeting new people solve the problem, then you need to let him feel that he is not the only one, and he has someone to replace. You can trite to ask for help at home from one of his friends, motivating it by the fact that your faithful refuses to do this.
- Behave the same way. Is your man a big fan of spending an evening at a bar with friends? Ok, do exactly the same, go to your beloved friends! Let there be a mess at home, dinner will be moldy, and the refrigerator will be empty. Having lived only a week without a mistress, the man begins to turn on the brain and tries to correct the situation.
- Many women cannot cope without the help of higher powers. When nothing helps, it remains only to ward off friends from her husband by prayer. Seek help from the main protector of all women - the Virgin.
Conspiracies
Such methods are very effective methods, but you should not abuse them. Remember that this is an intervention in the fate of others, think about what responsibility you assume. So, conspiracies can be as follows:
- The plot with poppy is as follows. You pick up a handful of poppies in your hand and say the following words:
“He who is not called shall not enter. The morning dawn orders, the day dawn commands, the evening dawn drives, And the night dawn from friends saves. Amen!"
- A plot with balls of burdock, which must be put on the doorstep of the house, and say the following three times:
"As you, burdock seeds, fly high and far from the burdock, so also (names of friends) go away from my beloved husband."
- Light 13 candles and put salt next to it, looking at the fire, say these words:
“Like salt is white and loose, that dirt will not be adherent. Let drunken parties and bad parties with friends be taken away from her husband. Let them quarrel, but do not beat, let them fly and disperse. I’ll put on a bad defense, and I’ll also save my husband from a dare. May it be so. Amen! Amen! Amen!".
In extreme measures, you can use these methods, but it is better to try to resolve everything with a dialogue.
Prayers
Many people think that conspiracy is a sin. If a woman decides to do such an act, then no one should know about it, otherwise everything may turn against her. However, believers can always turn to God. Remember only that it is impossible to pray happiness and prosperity to your home with a one-time reading of some magical text, all because prayer is designed primarily to strengthen a person’s faith and teach him humility. Unlike conspiracies, one specific prayer to ward off a husband from friends does not exist. In order to permanently solve the problem, a woman will have to patiently and daily pray. Many wives who have encountered such a problem claim that Prayer for Family Disagreement will help. It sounds as follows:
Merciful and merciful God, beloved Father! You, by Your gracious will and Thy Divine Providence, have placed us in a state of holy marriage, so that by Your establishment we will live in it. We are comforted by Your blessing, spoken in Your word, which says: He who has found a wife has found good and received a blessing from the Lord. Oh my god Make us live with each other in Your divine fear. Make sure that we live in peace and harmony, that in our marital state we love chastity and honesty and do not act against them, that calmness lives in our house, and we keep an honest name. Grant us the grace to raise our children in fear and in teaching to Your divine glory, so that You could give praise to yourself from their lips. Grant them an obedient heart, bless them and be long-lived on the earth. Grant us our daily bread and bless our food. Protect our house and our heritage, so that the evil enemy and his weapon cannot harm them. And when You, Lord God, seek to send us suffering and sorrow, then grant us patience so that we obediently submit to Your fatherly punishment, and act graciously with us. If we fall, then do not reject us, support us and rebuild us again. Lighten our sorrows and comfort us, and do not leave us in our needs. Grant us that we do not prefer the temporary to the eternal, because we have not brought anything with us into the world, we will not take anything out of it. Do not let us cling to the love of money, this root of all the ill-fated, but try to keep up with faith and love and achieve the eternal life to which we are called. God bless and save us the Father. May the Son of God enlighten us with His light and have mercy on us. God the Holy Spirit, let His face turn to us and give us peace. Holy Trinity guards our entrance and outcome now and forever. Amen.
Only you yourself are free to decide which method to choose. Only one thing is important - to maintain family well-being.