The problem of loneliness was relevant at all times. It exists in the modern world. Of course, today people use the Internet and various means of communication that allow them to communicate without limits. However, according to psychologists, the one who most often accesses social networks more than others feels a sense of loneliness, that is, the absence of a soul mate. Sometimes such a person comes up with any life events and stories. And this is all in order to attract attention. Often the problem of loneliness arises among those people who do not want to accept the society that surrounds them.
They oppose themselves to others, in every possible way try to protect themselves from the whole world, and often go against generally accepted norms and traditions.
Child and loneliness
It is easier to agree with the existence of a problem when a person does not have a family, friends, or loved ones. However, the situations are different. Sometimes a feeling of loneliness visits a person who is surrounded by relatives. Unfortunately, such a phenomenon exists, although it seems simply unbelievable.
So, there is the problem of loneliness of a child in the world of adults. The arguments given by psychologists indicate the danger of this phenomenon. Indeed, fears and emotions experienced at an early age have a strong influence on the formation of personality, and, consequently, on a person’s whole life. That is why adults should pay attention to the problem of their baby.
What are the reasons that a child becomes lonely? The most obvious of them is the lack of attention from people close to him. Often adults are so preoccupied with their worries and problems that they simply don’t have enough free time for their child. Think about it, maybe this is the situation in your family? If so, then it needs to be fixed immediately. And a weighty argument speaks in favor of such a step. The problem of loneliness, according to psychologists, leads to the fact that children become closed, oppressed and alienated. A child, left to himself for a long time, goes into the world of thoughts and fantasies created by him.
The reason for loneliness at an early age may be the wrong approach of parents to questions of education. Some mothers and fathers mistakenly believe that they know better than the child what he needs. In this case, the interests of an unformed personality are ignored. It is impossible to exert such pressure on a small person. And on this occasion, psychologists have a weighty argument. The problem of loneliness that arose in the process of such upbringing can alienate the child from his parents, as he gradually degenerates into a misunderstanding.
How to protect a child from loneliness?
A problem that has arisen needs to be fixed immediately. Of course, the ways to solve it are not easy, but they exist. The constant efforts of those close to him will help to drive away the feeling of loneliness from the child. The main assistant in this will be parental love. But it should not be expressed in material wealth, but in sincere sensitivity, care and participation in the baby’s life. You need to be constantly interested in the affairs of your child and not dismiss him when he invites you to play with him.
The problem of child loneliness in literary works
Many writers and publicists raised the topic of a lack of attention to the life and interests of a small person. They often discussed how the problem of loneliness arises. The arguments from the literature that can be given on this topic are the story of Pavel Sanaev - “Bury me behind the plinth.” The protagonist of the work is a boy Sasha Savelyev. He tells readers about lost dreams and unfulfilled hopes because of the moral indifference of adults. The boy has no toys and no friends. All this replaces only a small mouse. When she is gone, Sasha will fully feel the loneliness of the child among adults.
The heroine of the story written by Dina Sabitova, “Three of your Names,” possesses the same feeling. This is a story about the terrible fate of a girl who went through a real hell of a half-starved impoverished life, first in her own family, and then in the orphanage and with foster parents.
The main idea of all authors is the statement that every child should be happy. And adults should take care of this.
Male loneliness
Often, representatives of the strong half of humanity do not have any affection and close ties. Some men consider this condition to be the norm. Is it so? To understand this issue, it is necessary to consider what, in contrast, the argument is given by psychologists.
The problem of loneliness, according to experts, may lie in the inadequate self-esteem of men. Such a person simply leaves the relationship with the people around him. He is afraid of criticism of his abilities and talents, which will bring him pain.
The reason for the loneliness of a man may be the lack of communication skills in communicating with others. Often the basis of such immaturity is shyness, which arose due to psychological trauma received in childhood or adolescence.
The cause of male loneliness may be the presence of sociophobia. The roots of this phenomenon lie deeply and lie in imposing an adult opinion on the boy. For example, the beginning of a visit to a kindergarten with the psychological unpreparedness of the baby. This becomes a cause of fright and leads to the desire to spend time alone, away from other children.
The reason for the isolation of men can be psychopathology, expressed in depression, autism, schizophrenia, a tendency to alcoholism. The problem of loneliness arises in those young guys who have a strong emotional attachment to their mother. However, not only as a result of underdevelopment or degradation of a person, a person does not contact with the world around him. As a direct opposite of all of the above, one can give another, quite weighty argument. The problem of loneliness sometimes becomes an element of spiritual growth. Here we are talking about the pinnacle of human development.
The theme of loneliness of men in literary works
The feeling of lack of affection haunts many representatives of the strong half of humanity. Numerous arguments directly related to the problem of human loneliness are found in the works of domestic and foreign writers. There are books that are literally riddled with this feeling, and among them are the works of Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
In many works of this author, the problem of loneliness is raised. Arguments from literature by Marquez - the hero of his novel "Outsider." In addition, Albert Camus, as well as Truman Capote (“Breakfast at Teffany”) and Hermann Hesse (“Demian”) wrote about loneliness. In these works, loneliness is a special life canvas with intertwined hopes and torments, estrangement and solitude, internal conflicts and contradiction.
A weighty argument to the problem of the loneliness of a person who has chosen the path of ministry is L. Tolstoy’s novel “War and Peace”. In this work, the image of the great commander Kutuzov appears before us. He saves the country and spares the lives of soldiers, giving Moscow without a fight. The main task set by the commander-in-chief is to rid Russia of enemies with minimal losses for his army. However, the official authorities have a different opinion. She wants to achieve fame at all costs. As a result, the author raises the problem of the tragic loneliness of man. Arguments to her - the resignation, and then the premature death of the great commander. This is the fee for the decision.
In many works of Russian writers, the problem of loneliness was raised. The arguments from the literature on this issue are the hero of A. Pushkin, Evgeny Onegin. At first glance, it could be attributed to a socially active person. Onegin was joyfully received in secular society. Moreover, the hero received true pleasure from leading such an idle life. However, at the end of the novel, Onegin concludes for himself that he was always "a stranger to everyone ...".
What other works raise the problem of loneliness? Arguments from the literature may include the following:
- Roman I. S. Turgenev “Fathers and Sons”. Its main character Bazarov is lonely both in love and in friendship and views.
- Roman Y. Lermontov “Hero of our time”. In it, the image of Pechorin is a multifaceted loneliness, both lyrical and civil, as well as universal.
- Comedy by A. S. Griboedov "Woe from Wit." Her hero, Alexander Chatsky, experiences loneliness, not finding support for his thoughts in society. He perceives his situation as a personal tragedy.
Female loneliness
Complaints about this condition can often be heard from women. Moreover, the theme of such loneliness excites, as a rule, women themselves. Unfortunately, even married ladies or those who have a love relationship can experience this feeling.
What are the origins of this problem? Psychologists explain its presence:
-complexes and insecurity when women compare themselves with beauties from the covers of glossy magazines;
- stereotypes when ladies believe that men love only blondes, marry bitch, etc.
- lack of meaningfulness in finding a partner.
But be that as it may, the psychology of female loneliness concerns, as a rule, the absence of a beloved man nearby. Even divorced girls who have children speak of this feeling. They project their condition onto the baby, saying: "Nobody needs us." The desire of a woman to have a family is inherent in nature itself. Little girls already in kindergarten begin to play mother-daughter, cook soup in a plastic saucepan and swaddle dolls. However, they dream of a beautiful husband and a luxurious white veil.
However, such is the female psychology that even wearing a wedding ring in her hand, a representative of the weaker sex can feel lonely. This is often explained by the fact that many families live as if by inertia, and spouses are not interested in each other's moods and thoughts. Such a situation often happens when a woman lovingly prepares dinner for her husband, receiving a “thank you” call on duty.
Sometimes ladies doom themselves to loneliness after an unsuccessful romance. They painfully experience the situation, experiencing humiliation. And here the problem of overcoming loneliness arises. The arguments given by psychologists indicate that it needs to be addressed. Otherwise, the woman will become even more unhappy than she was before. Fear of her prejudice that all men are evil will prevent her from creating a new relationship.
The theme of loneliness of a woman in literary works
A. I. Solzhenitsyn tells about the life of a simple Russian collective farmer in her story “Matrenin Dvor”. This is a lonely woman who lost her husband at the front and buried six children. Matrena Vasilievna, this is the name of the main character of the story, alone struggling with the hardships of life. She who has seniority at the state farm is not paid a pension. She could not get payments for the loss of a breadwinner. However, Matrona did not lose her human feelings. She readily responds to someone else's misfortune and continues to carry the cross of the guardian of the hearth.
Very brightly female loneliness is shown in the novel by L. Tolstoy “Anna Karenina”. This work is about breaking the relationship of the main character with all walks of life. Here the author also highlights the problem of the influence of loneliness on a person. The argument that Vronsky and Anna’s love is doomed to failure is obvious. The alienation of society and its rejection of the arisen feelings, contrary to the morals of secular circles. The young and cheerful woman at the beginning of the novel ended up in complete despair and perishes under the wheels of the train.
Loneliness of the elderly
The problem of lack of demand, the emergence of feelings of abandonment and misunderstanding on the part of young people often accompanies the elderly. This is compounded by the fact that older people also experience a lack of state support and care. But often this is the problem of the loneliness of a person who has devoted himself to others. Arguments in favor of the need for its solution are the social aspects of the issue.
What are the reasons for the appearance of loneliness in advanced years? This is the absence of relatives and children or separate living from them. It is not easy for the elderly to suffer the death of a spouse. The Russian state is characterized by another problem of loneliness of older people. The arguments for the reticence of the elderly are financial helplessness and the inability to cope with household and hygiene issues.
The theme of loneliness of the elderly in literary works
The life of the old village woman is narrated by K. G. Paustovsky's "Telegram". His main character, Ekaterina Ivanovna, had to experience loneliness, despite the fact that she has a daughter, Nastya. The author raises the problem of loneliness of old people. Arguments confirming its existence are the main heroine's awareness of her uselessness, because her daughter has not visited her for four years. This leads to the fact that the old woman lives out her days in complete solitude.
The same problem was raised by A.S. Pushkin. In his story "Station Warden" he showed how terrible the picture of the loneliness of an old man. The hero of the story, Samson Vyrin, was left by his daughter, who followed her lover.
The way loneliness changes a person was convincingly shown to us by N.V. Gogol. The hero of his novel Dead Souls, Plyushkin himself removed his children from himself. He was afraid that they would ruin him. The result of Plyushkin’s loneliness was the degradation of personality.
One of the problems of residents of big cities
A huge crowd of people in megacities does not allow people to meet often and does not favor close spiritual communication. Everyone hurries and runs about their business, often not paying attention to the one who is nearby. Women and men live as if by inertia. However, a certain moment comes, and each of them understands that loneliness has come, because no one is near. You can find a description of this state in many literary works. There is it in the novel by F. M. Dostoevsky "White Nights." In it, the author raises the problem of loneliness of people in big cities. Arguments confirming the existence of such a situation are a disagreement of interests and a total separation of people. At the center of the story of F. M. Dostoevsky is the story of a lone Dreamer. On his life's journey met the girl Nastya. The dreamer falls in love with her and with her help tries to get out of the "prison" of loneliness.
However, Nastya loves another and remains true to her feeling. She apologizes for her betrayal in a letter written to the Dreamer. He forgives the girl, but, continuing to love her, remains alone in the cold city that does not understand him.