A demon lives inside each person, and you need to be able to negotiate with him, otherwise the inner voice of self-criticism will slowly destroy you, not allowing you to move forward. What does self-criticism mean, and what is its danger? We will talk about these subtle matters today.
Meaning of the word
Self-criticism is a person’s reflexive attitude towards himself. You could even say that this is the ability to independently look for errors in your actions and thoughts, understand them and try to correct them. If a person can boast of such an ability, then this testifies to his absolute mental health. But if self-criticism turns into an obsession, then it can be considered as a deviation.
Self-sacrifice, self-abasement, or other variations of a destructive nature that cause feelings of guilt and shame are not synonymous with self-criticism. It is rather an objective point of view on oneself, where both positive and negative aspects of character are evaluated.
Basis
Self-criticism is a peculiar view from the side. Her judgments are based on internal human beliefs, its principles and goals. And if a person relates himself to his preferences, then this will be called self-criticism. But if a person begins to evaluate himself from the point of view of someone else's value system, then this indicates an inadequate approach. Also inadequate can be called a complete lack of self-criticism (although this may be caused by a low level of intellectual development). If a person is excessively self-critical, then he suffers from low self-esteem.
Self-criticism is a samurai sword where all sides are sharp. It is impossible to unambiguously determine whether it is considered a negative manifestation or whether it is necessary to work on its development.
Personal demon
Man is his own worst enemy. Sometimes it gives the impression that it brings him unspeakable pleasure to spend a huge amount of time on his own criticism. Self-criticism is, of course, good, but at the same time it is the most common way to harm yourself.
Each of us has such a demon, which we are accustomed to call an inner voice, an unfriendly self, an inner critic, etc. This voice often sounds in our heads and consists of thoughts full of criticism. And we, as a rule, take all these negative thoughts at face value. To understand whether you are influenced by your inner demon, consider committing to something new and different. The demon will immediately come out, begin to point out weaknesses and repeat that there is nothing good in this undertaking, and your efforts to implement it, to put it mildly, will not be enough. These and similar words come from inner monsters of self-criticism constantly:
- You can not do it.
- You will be laughed at.
- Who are you?
- Already forgot how the last time I sat in a puddle ?!
- This is silly.
- To do this, you need to have what you do not have, etc.
They interfere with a full-fledged life, slowly and confidently achieving their cherished goals. Ultimately, carried away by excessive self-criticism, a person will receive only one message: I'm not good enough. But this will be more than enough for all life to go downhill.
Life example
Some people feel their own imperfection more than others. Usually no one talks about this, and even he’s not able to admit to his own insolvency, but the actions speak for themselves.
Here is a small example. One young and promising boss, let's call him Ricky, hired trainers to help him become a first-class leader. In total, he had about 50 people under his command and, despite the euphoria from his new appointment, he was shocked by the scale of responsibility. Subsequently, it turned out that Ricky has no problems with the distribution of time, he does not suffer from stress, but is only convinced that he is not good enough. No matter what happens, Ricky is constantly dissatisfied with the circumstances and his own behavior. He can’t even name a few things that he is really good at, but if you touch on the topic of difficulties and problems, then Ricky can no longer be stopped. He is ready to tell for hours that he achieved success only because he constantly worked on his bad sides.
Good or bad?
Based on this, one can ask a question: is self-criticism good or bad? In the case of Ricky, we can say that he was just lucky. Of course, cultivating oneself and working on oneself is a good idea. But you can’t do this with a feeling of your own imperfection. Otherwise, the more a person will achieve, the more he will feel dissatisfaction.
Ricky, from an example of self-criticism, after working with a coach, was able to achieve outstanding success in his professional career. But he did it not because he constantly found flaws in himself and tried to improve them, but because he began to pay attention to his strengths. Yes, yes, he had them, however, like every person. In the world it is impossible to find someone who does not have any remarkable abilities.
Fear of Inconsistency
In general, each person should be able to critically evaluate their own actions and thoughts, accurately identify their weaknesses and know how to fix them. But at the same time, he should not neglect his strengths. Someone knows how to draw, someone is given to sing, and someone is a programming genius.
But people tend to expect approval from their environment. It is precisely because of the expectation of this approval that we are trying to squeeze ourselves into a framework that we have never met and will not match.
Proper self-criticism
To understand how well we value ourselves, we need to do the following. Take a piece of paper and write at the very top: “I should.” And then list everything that you think you need to do on the list. For example, “I should talk more”, “I should sleep less”, etc. Next, you need to re-read these items and choose the most basic. Most often, these are the first five positions to which a person pays the most attention. These points need to be reviewed again, whether they are important, whether they really allow a person to remain himself. If not, then maybe they appeared due to the obsessive influence of public opinion ?!
About self-criticism
As Einstein said: “You cannot judge a fish by its ability to climb trees. Otherwise, she will live her whole life, considering herself a fool. " This also applies to human self-criticism. In our society, it is customary to be equal to the best, and, unfortunately, no one thinks that these "best" are initially endowed with a completely different set of qualities.
Yes, a person can educate in himself anything, but whether he will be happy from the fact that he leaves aside what he really has talent for.
And finally, a few quotes about self-criticism. With their help, you can look at the other side of this process:
Self-criticism is hidden praise, people scold themselves in order to show an open mind.
We criticize ourselves to be praised.
In self-criticism one does not need to stoop to rudeness.
Rational approach to assessing your own actions, identifying your strengths and weaknesses is good. But if the inner demons begin to say: “You are a jerk!”, Then you need to make every effort to take them under control.