You can often hear two talking, and one another asks: “You flatter me. Is it just that, or do you want something from me? ” It so happened that the glory of something vile and ugly was firmly entrenched in flattery. Is the rumor fair? We will understand today.
Meaning
The dictionary offers a choice of two meanings.
- To give insincere compliments, guided by selfish motives.
- Pleasure yourself or another person.
To illustrate the first meaning, the textbook fable “Crow and Fox” is suitable.
The second meaning is more difficult to explain, so we will resort to a detailed example. A person can be flattered a lot: the level of salary, attention to certain people for his person, an invitation to a closed screening of the film, only "for the elite." At the same time, in the second meaning, no negative meaning is put in the verb “flatter”. Unless vanity as such.
And the same is true for the other person. People can please their pride, or others for the sake of pure art. For example, a man compliments a woman just like that, and she thinks that there is a mercenary moment hidden behind this and confuses the two meanings of the word “flatter”. In this case, the compliment may be spoiled. You can even imagine that she would say: "You flatter me , it's so disgusting." Needless to say, the power of tradition.
How to distinguish “bad” praise from “good”?
This is pretty easy. You just need to understand what kind of person and whether he can use you to achieve his goals. In other words, do you have the same “cheese”.
For example, officials, rich people are literally immersed in sweet verbal syrup and are not sure of the sincerity of those around them. Of course, they sometimes ask another sneak: “You flatter me,
it’s obvious. What for?". But is it worth counting on the truth?
A sincere compliment can be heard from a friend or relative. If a person is poor and has no weight in society, then there is no reason to dust him. Lack of money has its positive aspects.
“In a word you can save ...”
The language (not necessarily Russian) is amazing and powerful as a tool for influencing a person. A word spoken at the right time sometimes changes the course of history. The word, like a key, enters the keyhole of the problem and opens it. The support provided at the right time is priceless.
For example, a guy begins to compose poetry. The first ones are not very successful for him, but their parents still praise them, so as not to discourage the taste for writing, creative search. It is not known, of course, whether it will bear any fruit or not. A young man can even tell his father: “Of course, you flatter me. I understand that, but thanks anyway. ”
I must say that praise does not work with everyone. Some people, by contrast, require honesty. But that is another story.
"In a word, you can kill ..."
But flattery in its original and often used sense does not contribute to personal development. It deceives a person, makes him believe that he is already good at everything. When it comes to narcissistic bosses or a “raven with cheese”, it’s not scary, because they certainly won’t become better.
Worse, when words of support degenerate into their opposite. When one person tells another: “You flatter me. What does this mean, do you understand? ” Compliments sometimes calm a person, falsely orient him. Wisdom is needed to understand where support ends and complacency begins, which harms everyone, even the best person.
Summing up, it should be said: to flatter - this means, on the one hand, to support a person, to make him comfortable, to give an advance in some way. But on the other hand, the same definition can be interpreted in a negative way: how to cajole with the aim of rubbing confidence in a person, in order to then make him a tool of personal interests. It is necessary to clearly understand the difference between one and the other meaning of the word and not to confuse them with each other.