Often in communication with the child, parents catch themselves on the fact that they do not know what to do. Depending on the situation, the forms of education will look different. It is important to understand what you want from the child and what the child wants from you.
Everything is simple! If your child asks for something with perseverance, then this means that for some reason he needs it. To choose reasonable forms of education and methods of pedagogical influence on the child, it is important for parents to find out why. With this parental approach, the right motivation of actions is formed, which subsequently will not allow the child to make a mistake at the moment when he remains without control and advice. In this way, the super-task is also achieved: the parent passes on the methods of self-education to the child.
On the other hand, in order to form this faithful motivation in your beloved treasure (you can call it conscience, there is an opinion that conscience is our adviser), the parent himself also needs to have clear goals and
unobtrusively explain them to the child. In this case, the methods of raising children and the approach to them will be told to their parents by loving hearts.
Let's say that your goal is to raise a happy person. A person who knows how to love is happy. Because a person who knows how to love is usually also loved by those around him. The principles of the world order, such as “nothing is taken out of nowhere” and “love your neighbor as yourself,” work rigorously here: to the one who gives his love, this love returns without fail. And from here comes happiness.
Therefore, we teach the child to love and be happy. Asks for pens? We try to understand why. "Just a whim" is not an explanation. Because they simply can’t be capricious in principle yet, then their life experience will teach them with parental direct participation. There is no whim at an early age; there are unmet needs. For example, the need for bodily contact. We all
born with this need. In the same way as with the need to eat, drink, sleep, move, breathe fresh air, relax after work and other others. And it would never occur to anyone to refuse their child without apparent reason to eat or walk. Similarly, for no apparent reason, do not deny him his need to cuddle with an adult, loving and strong person.
In addition, you know, from above everything looks very different - not like from below, it is much more interesting. Depriving his child of this angle of view of the world around him, the parent deprives him of the opportunity to know the world in all its beauty and diversity. In any case, pushes this opportunity for a long time.
But suppose that a request to be picked up is still accompanied by a roar and some insanity. This suggests that the forms of education chosen by the parents earlier were not quite correct - that is, the parents simply did not try to figure out what the child needed, and immediately picked him up to calm him down. This is natural, because it is very unpleasant when the baby is torn. But do not let the child get used to solve conflicts in this way, you need to find out the essence of his desires.
So, "so as not to yell" - this is the wrong parental motive, this is not the action that is beneficial to our goal of raising a happy person. Take it in your hands, please, but first explain that mom-dad love to pick up (just pick up, and not just love) a cheerful child. Say it whenever he cries and asks in his arms. Speak cheerfully, persistently, with love. Ask to wipe away the tears, help him in this - give a handkerchief, a napkin, in a word, distract him as soon as possible from his unconscious decision while roaring out what he wants. Make me laugh, meowing or barking as you like, you better know what your child is laughing at and what forms of education are required in this situation. And when he laughs, then take him in your arms. Joyfully and lovingly. A few of these exercises, and he himself will learn to wipe away tears before asking for his hands. Everyone will feel a little easier.