What is tact? When we talk about her, we, as a rule, imagine a polite person who respects others. But in fact, between politeness and tact, there is a difference, what is it? To answer this question, we give information about the latter in more detail.
Definition
What is tact? With this word, one can characterize such a person’s property as the ability to behave in accordance with accepted etiquette in society and ethical canons. However, this concept implies not only mechanical follow-up of behavioral attitudes, but also the ability to feel and understand the internal state of the interlocutor so as not to allow embarrassing and unpleasant situations, both for him and for others.
In other words, tactfulness is when a person can behave in such a way as not to touch any “sore spot” of another person, not to offend, not to humiliate him. And this is done, as a rule, intuitively. But, unfortunately, not everyone has this intuition, and some people don’t even know about tact. They cut the truth-uterus and believe that they are doing the right thing, and at the same time they are sincerely surprised that they are offended.
When the truth borders on rudeness
Of course, such a "love of truth", which causes spiritual trauma to the interlocutor, is inappropriate and extremely undesirable, it is already close to the manifestation of rudeness. Hence the conclusion: if there is no urgent need to “open the eyes” of your vis-a-vis for any piquant details concerning him or his relatives, it is better not to do this. Moreover, it is unlikely that they will be grateful to you for this.
For no apparent reason, one does not need to point out to a person some physical defects, because they cannot be corrected, therefore such criticism is prohibited. But if these are shortcomings in clothes, then you can pay attention to them, if, for example, they compromise a person, and he will be happy to correct them. If you do it unobtrusively and not in an offensive manner - this will be a manifestation of tact.
There are situations when a friend or girlfriend shares the joy of acquiring a new thing with you, but it seems to you that it is not worth such inspiration. But since the purchase has already been completed, and nothing will change from your criticism, in this case, to be tactful is to support a loved one, although with a little bit of a soul, praise his choice and not spoil his mood.
Do not meddle in the soul
It is always better to avoid a situation with posing questions that affect the intimate aspects of the life of the interlocutor. This applies to questions about salary, general financial condition, family relationships, relations between a man and a woman, and religion. For example, if a girl is not married, you do not need to be interested in her every time you meet, how things are "on the personal front." A childless couple does not need to be asked about the reason for childlessness. In the presence of relatives of a person suffering from alcoholism, the topic of alcoholism should not be addressed. In such cases, tactfulness is, knowing the vulnerabilities, to be able to circumvent sharp corners.
If the partner himself starts a conversation on a “sensitive” topic, expressing his opinion, you need to be careful in expressions and not make harsh judgments. And what if the person with whom you communicate is little familiar to you, and you do not know about its vulnerabilities? Then you need to delve into his words and try to understand what can offend him.
A public discussion of your personal problems in the presence of strangers, for example, when you speak on the phone, especially in transport, on the street or at work, will also be tactless.
Tact: synonyms
The object under consideration has quite a lot of them, for example, these are the following words:
- Politeness.
- Subtlety.
- Courtesy.
- Respectfulness.
- Delicacy.
- Care
- Flexibility.
- Courtesy.
- Gallantry.
- Correctness.
- Courtesy.
- Courtesy.
- Good breeding.
- Sensitivity.
- Responsiveness.
- Comprehension.
- Sensitivity.
- Tolerance.
- Caution.
Origin
The word "tact" comes from the adjective "tactful", formed from the noun "tact", which came to us from German (Takt) or from French (tact). There it appeared from the Latin language, where it is written as tactus and means "touch, touch". The latter was formed from the Latin verb tangere - “touch, touch,” and this verb - from the pre-Indo-European tag in the same meaning.
A few more rules
Here are a few more rules that will help you to be careful:
- Tactless is considered a behavior in which, in the presence of a person who is not initiated into the essence of the issue, they speak in hints, whisper, exchange glances, demonstrating their “knowledge of the secret”. Secrets need to be discussed without witnesses who may feel superfluous.
- A manifestation of idle curiosity, a demonstration of interest in someone else's life will be tactless - eavesdropping on conversations, reading other people's letters, phone messages addressed not to you, staring at a person, especially with physical disabilities, looking into his mouth while eating.
- Friendliness and courtesy should not cross the boundaries, turning into importunity. The exercise of restraint in the expression of one’s feelings is also evidence of tact.
- If you saw a person in an awkward situation, it is better to pretend that you did not recognize or did not notice him at all, and if this did not work, then try to forget about the trouble and never remind about it.
From all that has been said, it can be concluded that, in contrast to politeness, which is characterized by knowledge of certain rules and their observance, tact is a manifestation of special attention to the interlocutor, respect for his feelings.