From early childhood, we know how unenviable the fate of the stepdaughter is. For some reason, Russian folk tales tell precisely about the dislike of the stepmothers to the daughters of her husband from their first marriage. The stepfathers of the daughters of wives from a previous marriage are tolerant: they do not require news, they do not starve or beat.
Tales of tales, but what is the reality? Is the stepdaughter an outcast in the family? Let's reason together.
Who is the stepdaughter?
If we turn to the dictionary of the Russian language, we will see the following definition of this word:
The stepdaughter is the step-daughter of one of the spouses.
We focus on this. A step-child is only to a wife or husband. If the girl is step-mother to both spouses, she is the adopted daughter. A big request is not to confuse these concepts.
What is the fate of the stepdaughter?
Who is the stepdaughter? An imposed and unloved child? Especially for the new wife of the father. It would seem that a woman should be more sensitive to the child, but no matter how. Stepfathers, and those are kinder as it comes to test.
According to fairy tales, the stepmother eats her husband’s daughter as a meal. Taunts her in every way. And in the end, the stepdaughter humbly endures everything and happiness falls to her. She becomes rich, marries the prince, and fate brings her other joys of life.
In reality, this is not so. Of course, there are good stepmothers who are very warm with their newfound “daughters”. But such relationships are very rare. Most often, at best, neutrality is built between the stepmother and stepdaughter. At worst, there is an open war.
Entering a new family, you do not need to give the stepdaughter the fate of a second person and put yourself in first place. Especially if the girl is not yet fully grown. Children are very sensitive to falsehood.
Stepfather and stepdaughter
Dad died and mom got married a second time. So a new dad appeared in the family. And the relationship between him and her stepdaughter didn’t work out very well. In the understanding of the mother’s new husband, the stepdaughter is an appendage. She should be invisible, silently perform her duties and obey. A kind of living doll.
What is it like for a child? Even an adult girl, being in the place of her stepdaughter, will begin to protest. Although an adult is easier. She can leave to live separately from the new “daddy” and keep contacts to a minimum. What about a mother-dependent child? The girl was injured after losing her father. Especially if she was attached to him. And then a new uncle appears who is trying to act like a dad. Naturally, the child will begin to show discontent.
The stepfather needs to remember: the stepdaughter is not a wordless creature that has no right to anything. And do not try to dictate your conditions, morally breaking the child. Stepfather - not dad. And if he wants to become him, then obviously not through the moral pressure of the girl.
Stepmom and stepdaughter
This situation is worse than with a stepfather. The girl’s mother dies. And dad does not grieve for a long time, marries again. The father’s new wife enters the house. And immediately begins to restore its order, even in small things. And who is the stepdaughter? The husband’s daughter, with her constant presence, must be put up with, but her opinion should not be taken into account. She’s still small.
The biggest mistake of the second wives who marry widowers. They write off stepdaughters. If the girl is still small, her opinion is not taken into account. And they look at a teenager as an enemy. At the same time, sincerely not understanding why a teenage girl takes her stepmother with hostility and for what she hates her.
The thing is that the father’s new wife either tries to immediately replace her mother, or behaves like a housewife in the house. In the house where the girl grew up and where her mother was the mistress. And it’s impossible. The child needs time to come to terms with the appearance of the stepmother. The girl is scared, she is afraid that her stepmother will become the main in the life of the pope. And they will forget about their daughter. And then a new wife begins to make her own rules in the house, and tries to command the child. Of course, the teenager will begin to respond. Even a little girl will protest.
The stepmothers do not understand that the stepdaughter is not a sweet, exemplary girl, who is just waiting for the moment when the “second mother” appears in her life. My husband’s daughters do not need this for nothing. And to become a second mother for an orphaned girl, you have to look for a key to her. Do not try to command or dictate your own rules, but see in this evil creature a frightened child. A child who has lost his mother and is afraid that his stepmother will take his dad. Heavy? And no one promised that it would be easy.
Law
Who is the stepdaughter by law? Does she have the right to inherit stepmother or stepfather? The stepdaughter is the heir to the last line. If there are no native children, other relatives. In general, the stepdaughter can inherit only if the stepmother or stepfather did not have any blood relatives left. Therefore, if the stepmother and stepdaughter hated each other all their lives, but the stepmother is lonely, after her death, everything will go to the unloved stepdaughter.
Or another example. The daughter had an ideal relationship with her second mother’s husband. A brother appeared. Everyone loved each other, everything was perfect. Parents die, the stepfather has an apartment. And the stepdaughter cannot claim her, only her brother. Here is such an injustice, on the one hand.
Meaning of the word
What is the meaning of the word stepdaughter? As we said above, this is the daughter of one of the spouses, who is step-native to another.
They figured out the meaning, but what is its origin? In fact, the word came from the Old Slavonic dashti. In the genitive case, it looks like a dashter. And it means "daughter." That is, initially the meaning of the word is good, without the negative coloration that it is painted today.
Conclusion
We talked about who the stepdaughter is. This is a victim of an evil stepmother, as a rule. But this is not always the case. Sometimes the stepdaughter is plotting such intrigues on her father’s second wife that it’s not known who else is the victim: a daughter or “second mother”.