When we talk about restraint, we immediately imagine a person with an angry expression on his face. His lips are arrogantly pursed, his gaze is prickly, what emotions can we talk about?
In fact, restraint is not at all what seems to us. Such people are usually very well educated. But let's take a closer look at this topic.
The concept
If you turn to textbooks on psychology. then in a generalized form, the definition of restraint looks like this: this is caution in the manifestation of feelings and emotions. It is formed due to respect for the interlocutor and good education.
Restraint = breeding
Is restraint good breeding? Yes, for the most part. Very often, restrained people are so well educated that they can be envied.
This is manifested in the ability to communicate, in the manner and timbre of speech, in gestures and facial expressions. Unlike the same chewing, restraint is natural. From a person possessing this trait, nobility blows.
If you had to watch a restrained individual, then he is admired. Each of his features is saturated with nobility. They say about such people: "He breathes them."
Passivity and restraint
Human restraint is often equated with passivity. Like, he doesn’t give a damn, he is cold and indifferent. Therefore, it behaves this way.
A completely erroneous opinion. A passive person can be very emotional. But behind these emotions lies a reluctance to bear responsibility, and to help others. Much easier to start lamenting, sparing words, than taking responsibility for support.
Emotion and restraint
Emotional restraint is a wonderful trait. Do you know that emotionally restrained people are great friends? They will not claw and flap their wings, akin to mother hens. They will just look sympathetically and take supportive measures.
Under the ability to manage their emotions are people with a very big and kind heart. Indeed, in order to help a friend, it is not at all necessary to lisp over him and lament.
Patience
Is restraint and patience the same thing? Let's just say that the quality data is “one berry field”. Excellent brakes on the life track, allowing you to avoid too sharp turns and turns.
Restrained and patient person is easier to live. Not in the sense that he has no problems. There are, and sometimes even more than more emotional people. It’s just that our hero knows how to adapt, wait and not chop off his shoulder.
How to develop this quality
How to cultivate self-restraint to those who from an early age were distinguished by increased emotionality and rampant? Let's learn this process:
The right motivation. Tell yourself why you need to be restrained. What advantages will you achieve if you cultivate this quality in yourself. Find the positive aspects that will be inherent in your behavior when you learn to restrain yourself.
Sometimes you have to put up with something. We cannot, for example, affect traffic congestion. Or a bad telephone connection. Therefore, the manifestation of emotions on these occasions will not give anything, except for two or three lost nerve cells.
"I see a purpose, but I do not see obstacles". The development of restraint is a constant work on oneself. And it takes place regularly, that is, a person steps forward with small steps. You have to get used to the idea that there is no movement back. Rollback will have certain negative consequences for you.
Communicate less with conflicting people. Take a look at your surroundings. Are friends friends distinguished by increased emotional restraint? Try to move away from them. Communicating with such individuals, we unconsciously begin to imitate them in behavior.
Keep a diary. Yes, yes, do not smile. With the diary you can share everything: your victories and defeats. Write down in detail in which situations they showed restraint and in which they were able to keep silent. And work out situations in which you behaved differently than you would like.
Distract from the object of irritation. Are you in a traffic jam? Instead of swearing through your teeth, make the music louder. Or go to a social network, check your email, call relatives or friends. In the end, surrender to your dreams.
Aromatherapy. Do you know how a bath with a few drops of essential oil helps? Or incense sticks. They work very well on the nervous system, helping it to relax.
Drink soothing infusions. For example, at lunch, instead of coffee or tea, drink a decoction of chamomile. It has a beneficial effect on the nervous system, forcing a person to relieve stress.
Just relax. Allow yourself 10 minutes daily for a solitary vacation. Go to the empty room, sit on the sofa, close your eyes and relax. Think about something nice, it helps to relax.
Analyze situations that provoke you to emotions. Play their other restraint decisions.
Why it's good to be restrained
Restraint is the ability to control oneself. That is, control over feelings and emotions. This is wonderful when the mind and emotions are subordinate to the person, and not he to them. By the way, one of the main reasons why it is great to have restraint. It’s nice to understand that you can control yourself.
The second point is restraint in communication. This is important to know. It is pleasant to deal with a person who knows what restraint, moderation, simplicity and decency in communication are. Such people are usually thoughtful. They do not change their decisions spontaneously, will not go to extremes.
By the way, restraint is very useful when you need to "turn on the mind." Cold thoughts are much better than chopping wood for a hot head.
In relations with loved ones, restraint allows you to maintain balance. When everyone around is “boiling”, it’s hard not to say a lot of nasty words to each other. A restrained person, despite the fact that a storm breaks inside him, is able to soberly look at things. He will not scream and stamp his feet, proving his innocence. Or he will remain silent, thereby not pushing the tense situation to extremes. Or he will begin to operate on facts, appealing to the minds of the participants in the hassle.
At work, a reserved person is worth its weight in gold. He is able to enter into polemics with the leader and firmly, but very friendly, crush that fact. Especially when the boss is wrong.
And such an employee reacts calmly to the stupid behavior of colleagues. He does not lose his temper when someone boils and boils, like a kettle on a stove.
Sometimes it's bad
Of course, on the one hand, restraint is very cool. But on the other hand, you cannot constantly keep everything in yourself. Restrained people, with all their kindness and a huge heart, get sick more often. It is very difficult to crush your emotions, swallow them. In the end, everything comes to a limit. He comes and emotional "swallowing." The man was full to nausea. And here are two options for the development of events: either our hero will give them free rein, or become ill.
Both options are scary. People who are very restrained by nature are a terrible sight, falling into anger. Then you should stay as far away from them as possible, because control over yourself is lost. And human behavior, if you continue to annoy him, is close to a state of affect. As we know, this may end badly.
The second option is not much better, actually. The body does not receive detente, seeks it, and, as a result, makes a person fall into bed. Moreover, the disease can be both obvious, with signs of pressure, temperature, and other physical manifestations, and internal. The latter is understood not as a disease of internal organs, but the inability of medicine to diagnose a disease. According to all analyzes and indicators, our hero is healthy. And he feels completely sick.
That’s why it’s sometimes helpful to let down emotions. In order not to accumulate aggression, causing damage not only to others, in the event of its release, but also to their own health.
How to throw off emotions
Restraint is the ability to control oneself. But it so happens that a person just needs to relax, throw off negative emotions. But he cannot do this, because he is used to constantly keeping himself in control.
To some, this advice may seem silly. But it works, and works well. Especially for those who are afraid of heights.
Go to the ferris wheel. Make one circle, immediately throw off emotions. Get out of the ride with a renewed person.
Conclusion
So we examined in detail what is hidden under the word "restraint". This is control over your own mind and emotions, the complete ability to control yourself.
In fact, the quality is very good and useful. However, do not forget that we are people, not robots. Periodically, when restraint begins to squeeze the throat, get rid of it. One of the effective methods described above.
To throw off emotions, it is not necessary to shout and beat dishes. You can do this in more relaxed ways.