Insolent disrespect for others demonstrates in different ways: a look, a word, a gesture. And even with a look, and a word, and a gesture at once. Plus, over-demanding that the whole world owes him something - from the old woman on the park bench to the baby in the stroller. Consider what is arrogance, how it manifests itself and how to deal with it.
Is there a "ceremony"?
There is such a word in Russian. Its synonyms (according to Ozhegov's dictionary): grandeur, formality, solemnity are signs of a well-organized event. For example, for the rest of their lives, they remain in the soul of emotions at a wedding ceremony or at a ceremony honoring heroes and winners.
But this list of synonyms is supplemented by others: cronyism, stiffness, scrupulousness, cirlich-manirlich - these are the so-called behaviors when a person wants to draw attention to himself and seem ideal to himself and others. However, they cause laughter in most cases and a desire to stop communicating. He is an unpleasant, swaggering “crow”.
So ceremony is good or bad? You can answer this way: everything is good in moderation and out of place. Parenting is manifested not in the intrusive ability to demonstrate it, but in sensitivity and respectful attention to others, in good manners. One of them is simplicity and dignity in behavior.
"Unceremoniousness is not a disease ..."
"... but a great disgrace." This definition first comes to mind when confronted with its manifestations, because aggressive and tactless attempts to control our behavior are perceived with hostility. Even if it needs correction, the reaction is negative: someone is indignant, someone is perplexed, someone is crying.
Unceremoniousness is:
- always aggression directed at others, based on self-love or confidence that the whole world (or a specific person) needs to be shown his place;
- sometimes this is a way of self-defense of a weak, internally insecure person, from alleged malevolence towards him;
- sometimes - a demonstration of its exclusivity, superiority, supposedly giving the right to command and control;
- or a way to have fun, to get sadistic pleasure from how people are indignant.
An unceremonious person often does not suspect that he is such. He considers himself a true lover, a fighter. However, it is not in vain that the word “unceremoniousness” has many synonyms and, unfortunately, they denote not the best manifestations of human nature:
shamelessness, cynicism, familiarity, shamelessness, swagger, immodesty, freedom, cynicism, rudeness, impudence, familiarity, shamelessness, cronyism, liberty, impudence, shamelessness, impudence, impudence, impudence, impudence, impudence, impudence, impudence , rollicking, snoring (from the Dictionary of Russian Synonyms).
How are they mistaken?
The impudent behavior themselves arrogant often use in communication with loved ones, trying to manipulate them or believing that this is a sign of trust and love. This is a profound error: shamelessness bothers even the most patient relatives and friends, it destroys family and friendship ties.
Another mistake is that familiarity is taken as a sign of exceptional proximity to another person, for example, to a boss or an older person. But by the boss himself, as a rule, she is perceived as an insulting disrespect for his person. The inept desire to rise in one's own eyes and in others' eyes turns into a repulsive impudence and a fall.
Unceremoniousness is freedom of speech, behavior, relations? Not at all. This is freedom from the obligation to respect the neighbors in life, which is a sign of a civilized person. As he hangs around, he responds: rudeness turns into general indignation and rejection of the insolent from the circle of worthy people.
Another misconception: to be unceremonious to be profitable, because they are afraid of such. Not at all. Such behavior, perhaps at first shocking, but then causes such a wave of hostility that in the future to rely on human understanding and help becomes meaningless.
How to respond?
Depending on where and who showed inconsideracy, you can give these tips:
- Nahamili in a public place. Do not react in any way. Otherwise, there is a risk of stimulating a further buildup of aggression.
- A relative or colleague is annoyed by tactlessness. It’s easy to explain exactly what you don’t like, and limit all contacts except business ones.
- A family member shows disrespect, neglect, etc. The most difficult situation, since it is impossible to avoid daily contact with him. The main thing is not to bring relations to family wars. First, figure out what is causing this treatment and try to eliminate it. It’s easy to explain exactly what you don’t like and establish firm rules for communication.
For all occasions it is impossible to give advice. But the main thing is patience. And if it is already not enough, then you can mess up. Without screaming and with pleasure.
So that he does not grow up like that
Unceremoniousness is a weapon aimed at oneself. It is not so easy for the holder of such a negative character trait to live in constant confrontation with others, which, perhaps, he himself is not fully aware of.
In any case, this is a gap in education. Caring parents should form benevolence towards people, self-esteem, self-criticism and bashfulness in their child. And also to teach the culture of communication in the family, in public places, politeness in any situations, discipline and diligence, the ability to put yourself in the place of another person and to be imbued with his feelings.
It is very important for adolescents to develop a moral attitude towards other people. Sometimes they take for the steepness the impudence of the insolent (leader of the pack), his swagger, familiarity, arrogance and try to copy them.
Education is not limited to constant moralizing, it is also a demonstration of how to act, to behave in specific situations. These samples are given not only by parents, but even random passers-by on the street, passengers in public transport, shoppers in the store, movies, and performances. The child should pay attention to the correct and negative forms of human behavior and try to convey to their consciousness their moral (or immoral) essence.
Unceremoniousness is not an innate quality, but a product of improper upbringing in the family, an expression of lack of culture.