This article contains the most popular jokes. This collection was compiled on the basis of materials from various online resources devoted to humorous stories. Also a lot of information was taken from magazines and newspapers. Well, and, of course, it was impossible to ignore those anecdotes that are passed from mouth to mouth, making up a huge layer of folk art.
Topical Jokes
The people in their work have always responded to the most pressing topics. And since, in recent years, a lot of people are extremely concerned about the economic situation in our country and in the world, one of the most popular jokes today are those that are dedicated to financial workers. So, here are some of them.
Two school friends meet. Each of them is the head of his own company. One asks the other: “Where did you get a beautiful souvenir? This is the first time I see a Chinese toad so skillfully made that holds coins! If this is not a secret, then tell me in which store you bought it? ”
To which the comrade answered him: “This is not a Chinese toad with a coin, this is a woman. She is my new accountant. I recently hired her. ”
Dishonest employee
At the interview, the applicant for the position of accountant is asked: “What is the reason why you left your previous job?”.
The man replies: “I did not leave there of my own free will. They simply declared an amnesty in the country. ”
Dear Leonid Ilyich! ..
Among the most popular jokes on the same financial topic, you can meet the old Soviet, whose hero is Brezhnev.
Leonid Ilyich arrives with a visit to the United States. After a series of high-level meetings, the guest was taken to the most expensive restaurant. Brezhnev always had a great sense of humor and decided to play a trick on his American colleagues. He, wishing to embarrass the government of the capitalist country, asked: “Let me find out where you got the money for which this banquet is arranged?”
Carter calmly replies: “We had plans to build a bridge across the river. $ 2 million was allocated from the budget for this purpose. We found a contractor who pledged to do the job for $ 1,900,000. The saved money went to treats. ”
The President of the United States of America, Carter, is returning to the Soviet Union . After the official part of the meeting with Leonid Ilyich, a traditional banquet took place. The American decided to remind Brezhnev of his inappropriate joke and publicly said: “Let me ask how much money was purchased for all these sumptuous treats?”
Leonid Ilyich answers him: “Mr. President, I ask you to follow me to the window!” At the beginning of this year, we were going to build a new bridge across the Moscow River. Tell me, Mr. Carter, do you see him? ” The American president shrugged and made a negative head movement. The Secretary General says: "Well, actually ... These funds went to a banquet."
Favorite characters
It may seem strange to someone, but the old Soviet jokes are the most popular and the funniest, according to many modern connoisseurs of humor. Among them, short stories about famous movie heroes occupy a special place. Next will be presented some of them.
Walks along the street Muller. Stirlitz from the roof of the building is watching him. When Mueller was near the house, the Standartenfuhrer threw a stone at him.
“There you go!” Thought Muller, surprised. Stirlitz picked up a brick, took aim, and threw it at the head of the German, saying: “Here you have two!”
The sample of folklore presented below is also one of the most popular jokes.
Standartenfuhrer Stirlitz stood on February 23, on the Day of the Soviet Red Army, in the most crowded square of Berlin with a bottle of Russian vodka, a red banner, and sang Katyusha and Dark Night. This experienced scout has never been so close to failure.
Detectives
All lists of the most popular jokes still include those dedicated to Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. Here is one of them.
The heroes of detective novels by Arthur Conan Doyle are walking along one of the streets of London. Holmes says: "Now we will go over that corner and a tall man with dark hair will beat us." Everything happened exactly as the great detective predicted. As a result, Holmes and his colleague were lying on the pavement. Dr. Watson hardly looks up and asks: "Holmes, how did you manage to foresee this?" The detective laughed and said: “Elementary, Watson! "I called this gentleman a fool yesterday, and he just lives in the nearest house."
National hero
Well, and, of course, the list of the most popular jokes usually includes at least one about Chapaev, for example, such.
Vasily Ivanovich with Petka jump with parachutes. The young Red Army soldier asks the commander: “Can I open the parachute already?” Chapaev replies: “No. It is too early. Wait a bit".
A minute later Petka said in an excited voice: “Vasily Ivanovich, is it time for you to open the parachute?” Chapaev again asks to wait. Soon Petka asked Chapaev for the third time: “Vasily Ivanovich, well, can you now open the parachute?” Chapaev negatively shakes his head. Petka exclaims: “But, after all, we will be broken!” Chapaev calmly says: “Do not be afraid! Do not crash! Soon it will be possible to jump. ”
The question of which animals are the most popular in jokes is quite an interesting one. For example, many examples of folk humor are dedicated to foxes. Here is one of these jokes.
The most cunning animal
Forest animals play cards.
Leo, on the rights of the king, announces the rule: "Whoever cheats, he will receive by physiognomy ...". Then he thought a little and added: "... According to the arrogant, red-haired physiognomy."
Cartoon characters
To the question of what is the most popular joke about animals, you can answer as follows: the one whose hero is a crocodile. Indeed, samples of folk humor about Gena and Cheburashka have been created for several decades. And the most popular of them can be called such.
The gene with Cheburashka was caught and placed in a zoo. A camel lives in a cage adjacent to them. Cheburashka points a finger at him and says: “Gene, you said that they’re not beating here!”
Ah, look what they did to the poor horse! ”
The most popular Odessa jokes
Of course, in this article one cannot ignore this genre of jokes. For centuries, the inhabitants of this city have been famous for their wonderful sense of humor. Here are some short stories about them.
In the accounting department of one of Odessa enterprises.
- Our accountant, Abram Moiseevich, was terribly lucky?
- What is it?
- He decided to emigrate to Israel before the law enforcement agencies became interested in him.
The implausible case.
“Did you hear that Sarah’s brother, Moishe, presented her with a diamond pendant?”
“I don't believe that!” Either a fake diamond, or she lies that she has to be her brother.
On this fun note, you can safely finish this article on the most popular funny jokes.