Everyone knows how many incidents sometimes happen to pregnant ladies. They are weird in the first months, funny stories happen to them during childbirth. In any case, there is no smoke without fire - jokes about pregnancy from scratch do not make up.
Funny stories about the definition of pregnancy
Many funny stories happen while women are trying to determine if they are pregnant. Introducing a selection of jokes about a pregnancy test.
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Producers of pregnancy tests carry out a generous action: "When you provide a pregnancy test with a positive result, get a pacifier as a gift."
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The woman asked her pregnant friend (who, by the way, in the ninth month) to buy her a pregnancy test. The seller in the pharmacy gives the goods and looks over his glasses in surprise:
“Are you still not sure?”
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The guy decided to make a joke on his girlfriend and drew an additional strip on her pregnancy test. Imagine his surprise when a friend asked:
- Darling, what does three stripes mean?
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A young girl wrinkles in line near the window in a pharmacy. Her turn comes, the seller is interested in:
- What you need?
- Pregnancy test, please.
- What do you think?
- I would be negative ...
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From a conversation between two bosom friends:
- Was on an ultrasound yesterday it turns out that I'm a little pregnant and I have a boy.
- Congratulations! So how is it? Have you decided what son’s name will be?
- Yes, you wait with the name, I would first of all deal with the middle name.
Anecdotes about an imaginary pregnancy
Many jokes about pregnancy are written about the erroneous definition of pregnancy.
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A full man with a beer belly is standing at a bus stop. A boy is marking time next to him and squinting his eyes on his stomach. Finally, he decides to ask:
- Uncle, and who are you waiting for?
- The bus.
- Class! A ride when born?
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At a medical institute, a student is trying to pass an exam. When asked about signs of pregnancy, there was a hitch. From the first desk, friends suggest: a large belly grows, hair begins to fall out and legs are crooked. The student is responsible. The teacher is annoyed:
- My legs are crooked?
- There is some.
- Do my hair fall out?
- Drop out.
- And my stomach is big?
- Yes.
- Here as soon as I have a face, I will immediately set you off.
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In a minibus crowded, do not rest. Here comes a young slim girl and asks to give her a place because of pregnancy. The guy is polite, stands above her and gazes at him intently. After some time, he decides to compliment:
“You know, you won’t say that you are pregnant.”
“You should have seen it for half an hour!” But I got so tired ...
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The lady gets into the cab of the taxi and commands:
- To the hospital.
The driver frantically presses the gas pedal all the way. The passenger reassures:
- Don’t rush you like that, I’m going to work.
Worried dad
Not all jokes about pregnancy are invented. Most of them are taken from life.
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The father of three girls came with his wife to do an ultrasound scan. The doctor "pleases" that they will again have a daughter. Dad takes the doctor under the elbow and takes aside:
“Listen, is there anything you can do about this?” Can we agree?
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The young husband in a panic calls an ambulance:
- Help, my wife has a fight!
- Calm down, all is well. Is this her first child?
- What are you, I'm her husband!
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Three friends communicate with each other, drink a beer. The first tells:
- When I was pregnant, I re-read The Two Captains several times. So we had two strong boys born.
- True true. My whole time I read The Three Musketeers, so now we have three hooligans growing up.
They look at the third, and he turned pale, choked with beer. They ask him:
“Why, are you all right?”
- Yes, where is it! My last month now, is reading "Ten Little Indians."
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Two employees are talking in the hospital:
- What kind of scream is in the next chamber? Are the four newborns so vociferous?
“No, it's their dad.”
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Husband and wife went to bed late at night. In the morning she wakes him at 4 o’clock:
- I urgently need to the hospital!
- What?
- I say, I have fights! Take me to the hospital.
- Honey, are you sure? Maybe a little more sleep?
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The husband comes home exhausted. He sat down in a chair, staring blankly into space. And at that moment the wife decided to inform:
“Darling, I'm a little pregnant here.”
- Well, and there you are ...
What happens in mom’s stomach
Everyone is interested in what is happening inside the future mother. Perhaps babies are also wondering, what is life outside of my mother’s belly? Compilers of pregnancy jokes could not ignore this topic.
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Two twin children are talking among themselves in the womb:
- What do you think, is there any kind of life after birth?
“I believe so.” Why are you in doubt?
“So no one has come back yet!”
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One expectant mother loved to eat ice cream. He comes for an ultrasound examination and the doctor sees the following picture: the twins dance from the cold, and one says to the other:
- Well, nothing, we wintered!
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Two babies quarreling in the womb:
- Well, let's get out!
Funny birth incidents
Incredibly funny stories happen even during childbirth, which is why they make funny jokes about pregnancy and childbirth with notes of black humor.
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The husband brought his wife who began to give birth to the hospital and is waiting in the waiting room. Waiting for two hours, the third one went ... Then he hears a strange roar from behind the doors, ran to the noise, opens the door and sees a funny sight: there are six girls on the table, and the doctor is trying hard not to let out the next one and yelling:
- Glows! Knock out the light, somebody! They climb into the light!
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A young man marries a pregnant girl. Three months pass, her contractions begin. Husband at a loss:
- How so, we are not familiar with you so much?
- Well, you yourself calculate: three months before the wedding, multiply by three after.
Agreed husband, drove his wife. She returns with a black child. The husband again does not understand anything, but the caring wife explains:
- Do you remember how we went to the hospital, the black cat crossed the road for us? That son is black.
Believed husband. He comes to his parents next weekend and tells how it turned out 9 and about the cat. Dad asks his wife:
- You don’t remember when I brought you to the hospital, didn’t we cross the ram for us?
The woman is pregnant for the second time. Her husband often jokingly warned her not to eat too much, otherwise she would burst. And now, the time has come to give birth. The older child is wondering where his mother is, to which they answer:
- They took me to the hospital.
- What, still burst ?!