There are so many funny jokes about school. Some of them will be presented in this article. The hero of most of them is a bully and a second-year-old Vovochka. This cheerful little boy makes thousands of people laugh for more than a dozen years. Here are some of the school jokes. They are loved by people of different ages.
Jokes about school for children
The teacher in Russian gave the task to write a proposal with homogeneous members. Little Johnny wrote: "I hate a physicist, a chemist, and a geographic girl."
Marya Ivanovna gave the class the task of drawing up a questioning sentence and an answer to it, which can be both positive and negative. Little Johnny wrote: "Will you be the vodka? - Ah, leave it!"
And now a joke about a school in Georgia. The teacher asks the class a question: "Children, who can tell me what wasps are?" Givi rises and says: "Wasp is a big, striped fly." The teacher says, "The answer is wrong. The big striped fly is a bumblebee, and the wasp is what the Earth revolves around."
Special School
There are even jokes about a specialized school. Here is one of them.
In a special school commission. Its head calls one of the students to him and asks him: "What is your name?" The student says: "I do not know." The head of the commission again asks: "How old are you?" The student again answers that he does not know. The teacher again asks the question: "What do you want to become?" The boy again says that he does not know. Accordingly, the principal was severely reprimanded, deprived of his prize and put on the face. A year later, the commission came again. The chapter calls up the same student and asks him: "What is your name?" The student answers quite confidently: "Little Johnny!" The teacher asks the following question: "How old are you?" The boy replies: "Twelve." The man again asks: “What do you want to become?” The student still confidently says: “Musician!” The teacher asks: “By whom, by whom?” The student still says with the same confidence: “Little Johnny.”
Here is another joke about the school in the same series. A schoolgirl caught a goldfish. She told her that a girl can make any five wishes. The schoolgirl says: “I want my ears to be rolled up, the nose to be in the shape of a horn, my eyes look like two big pears, my hair should be like long green snakes and my skin should be pimply like a crocodile’s.” The fish immediately fulfilled all the wishes of the girl.
But still then she asked: “Why didn’t you want to become a beauty or didn’t require a lot of money?” A student at a special school answered her: “Oh, and what could have happened?”
About Little Johnny
And again, several jokes about the beloved hero.
Little Johnny comes into the classroom and says: "Hello everyone!". After which the boy calmly goes to his place, despite the fact that the lesson has already begun long ago and the teacher explains a new topic in mathematics. The teacher stopped the negligent student and tells him: “Little Johnny, please go out of the classroom and come in as your dad comes home!” Little Johnny left the classroom. A second later the door opens from a kick. Little Johnny runs into the classroom and shouts: “Well what, you bastards, didn’t expect? "The teacher is confused. He says:" Go out and go into the classroom, as your grandfather comes in. "After some time, Vovochka runs into the classroom again and yells:" Damn my bald skull! Who I see! "
Funny jokes about the school are devoted to many collections published in print, as well as a large number of sites where you can find such masterpieces:
The teacher instructs the class to make a sentence with the word "pineapple".
Little Johnny wrote: "My dad ran away from me and my mother in Sochi, but he scored on us."
Strange students
At the literature exam, the teacher tells the student: “So, the first question on your ticket is Karamzin’s novel“ Poor Liza ”. What can you say about heroin? ". The student says:" Oh !!! Heroin is such a cool thing! I can tell everything about him !!! ”
On the eve of September 1, Vovochka yells in a rage: "For 10 years, without any evidence! An innocent person for 10 years, this is arbitrary!"
Georgian school
Very funny jokes about the school are connected not only with the name of Vovochka. They often meet other heroes. The following joke confirms this.
In a Georgian school, a teacher says: "Gogi, prove that this triangle is isosceles." Gogi goes to the board and replies: "This triangle is really isosceles. I swear by my mother that it is."
The most resourceful of the class
Marya Ivanovna asks the class a riddle: "Without windows, without doors, a room of people is full." Little Johnny rises and says: "This is a brothel." The teacher told him: "Fu, how vulgar you are." Little Vovochka answers her: “And now I will ask you a riddle. Three women are coming. They all eat ice cream. The first licks it, the second sucks, the third bites. Which of them is married? "
Maria Ivanovna blushed and said: "The one that sucks ice cream." Little Johnny answers her: “Actually, she’s married, she has a wedding ring on her finger. And you still tell me that I’m vulgar!”
Maria Ivanovna asked the class to write an essay on the theme of Travel and said that the one whose work will be the longest will automatically receive the top five. Little Johnny wrote 50 pages. The teacher had to put him the promised mark. After that, she took his notebook and began to read. It opens the beginning, and it says: "The Horseman left St. Petersburg for Moscow." After that, she looks at the end of the essay, where she reads: "The Horseman has arrived in Moscow at last." It reveals the middle of the notebook, and it says: “Tygdy-tygydy tygydy-tygydy tygydy-tygydy tygydy-tygydy tygydy-tygydy tygydy-tygydy” - and so several dozen pages.
“Children, who can say what unit of moth is used to measure?”
- For wool, fur and cotton.
Jokes about school will always be relevant, since this topic is inexhaustible.