Time passes, but one thing remains the same: people do not value a good relationship. Once someone comes to the rescue, someone will have to do it all the time: refusals are not accepted. Although gratitude for a good attitude sometimes happens, but this is more an exception, not a rule. Surely everyone is familiar with the gospel story of how Jesus healed 10 sick people, but only one thanked him. And this is far from the first evidence of human ingratitude.
Innate property of higher animals
The question of why people do not appreciate a good relationship, tried to answer not only psychologists, moralists and researchers of ethical sciences, but also ordinary scientists, in particular, zoologists. So, Konrad Lorenz - the Austrian zoologist and zoopsychologist - shed some light on the cause of human ingratitude. He studied animal behavior for a long time and came to the conclusion that aggression is an innate quality of higher animals.
There is also intraspecific aggression when representatives of one species attack their own kind when they enter their territory. This behavior helps to survive in the wild.
Invasion and morality
Even without a scientific basis, it is easy to determine that intraspecific aggression is also characteristic of people, they only call it differently - competition. For example, in one city there are two photo shops. They are located in different parts of the city, and the owners are even friends. But if one of them opens his studio next to a competitor, then a fierce struggle and enticement of customers will begin, because such an act is an attempt on someone elseās territory.
From this a simple conclusion suggests itself: by nature man is evil, but at the same time a social being. In order to survive, he needs to learn to exist with his own kind, therefore morality, rules of conduct and other laws exist in society. To reduce someoneās aggression, people try to express humility. And the conclusion, which suggests itself: gratitude and good attitude are perceived as weakness. Everyone expects that they will be treated well, but no one wants to do this in return.
Man, doing good to someone, transcends his natural egoism and wants this āsacrificeā to be appreciated. If someone sees himself as being good, he feels superior. And that amuses the ego. Thatās why people donāt appreciate a good relationship.
How to respond to ingratitude?
The fact that people do not value a good relationship has been known for a long time. And during this time many quotes, aphorisms and sayings have accumulated. Wise sayings that it is impossible to provide services where they are not asked.
Treat others the way they relate to you.
Do not do good deeds that are not asked of you.
Do good and throw it into the water.
Praise, like gold and diamond, only comes when it is rare.
Do not look for scoundrels, villains are done by good people.
Despite the fact that man is a rational creature and must act rationally, most human actions are performed under the influence of instincts, not reason. Since everyone has instincts, but with upbringing and prudence, fate has deprived someone.
From shakespeare
Well, with science and instincts sorted out, it's time to move on to philosophy, ethics and aesthetics. And, let's start with Shakespeare. Another famous playwright of the past wondered:
Is there anything more terrible than ingratitude of man?
Unfortunately, he could not answer him. People did not appreciate and do not appreciate a good attitude, either then or now. Once someone disinterestedly helps, instead of gratitude, the person has a duty to help constantly. No wonder they say itās worth helping someone a couple of times, as someoneās legs immediately begin to hang from the neck. People take kindness for granted, and are very offended when they have to be denied.
Goethe once said that ingratitude is ordinary weakness. Outstanding people will never allow themselves to be ungrateful. In any case, they will find a way to thank the one who helped them, and they will never forget the service rendered to them.
No fool and life is bad
About when people do not appreciate a good relationship, there are many aphorisms. One of them is especially worth highlighting:
There should always be fools in the world who sacrifice personal interests in the name of the public, receiving in return vilifications and ingratitude (Alexander Hamilton).
Perhaps if everyone was exclusively engaged in their own affairs, then there would be no society as such. Perhaps anarchy would reign everywhere, people would look at each other with a wolf and would see their enemy in every one they met. Only due to the fact that there are people who will not spare themselves for the benefit of others, society somehow resembles a civilized society. But even here there are many unpleasant situations that can not be dealt with.
When not appreciated
People do not value a good relationship. Quotations on this subject can be given not one or two. The most unpleasant thing is when for the sake of another person you have to go to unseemly, sometimes even illegal acts.
Ingratitude never hurts the human heart as it does when it comes from people for whose sake we decided on an unseemly act (Henry Fielding, "The Tom Jones Story").
Because of black ingratitude, people more and more often stop doing something disinterestedly.
Having finally become disillusioned with humanity, people stop responding to cries for help, they turn into those who see only their own path and follow their own interests only. On the one hand, if you think rationally, they are somewhat right: why spray on those who do not appreciate it. But on the other hand, such people themselves will soon turn into those who will not appreciate anyone. Yes, it is not always possible to receive reciprocal thanks, but:
Let the ingratitude of many do not scare you from doing good to people; for besides the fact that charity alone and without any other purpose is a noble cause, but doing good you sometimes find so much gratitude in one person that it is a reward for all the ingratitude of others (Francesco Gvichchardini).
Sometimes itās enough just to believe that all the perfect good is not in vain. Yes, we can say that:
Ungratefulness, of course, is a human property, but to show it is childishness (Rafael Sabatini, "Odyssey of Captain Blood").
Although, on the other hand, man is not always able to pacify his nature.
People don't value a good attitude: statuses
Gratitude is a rare occurrence, like the northern lights in the southern hemisphere. Sometimes you can do many good deeds and suffer from it.
Three times I was wounded mortally, and just by those whom I was forcibly saving (Eugene Schwartz, āDragonā).
The more you give people, the more they demand from you (Archibald Joseph Cronin, Minstrel Boy).
People always hope for the appreciation of those whom they helped, and do not immediately realize that appreciation is a very rare occurrence (Charles Percy Snow, "Mentors").
And what is important: you can help a person a hundred times, but he will only remember the moment when he was refused.
No matter how much people owe you, if you refuse them one thing, they will only remember that this refusal (Guy Pliny Tsetsilii Secund (Pliny the Younger).
It is said that it is not peculiar to winners to remember those who cleared their way to the throne with swords. This truth is as old as the world, but not a single ruler has disdained it.
Demonstrative gratitude, a few words, a letter, a medal or posthumous speech are formalities, not gratitude. Indeed, the game will go on until the king falls, and no matter how many pawns lies on his throne. But one day, fate will begin to take revenge, and then the one who did not know how to appreciate a good attitude towards himself will be in the place of the one he offended. Life is impossibly wise, so you should not go in cycles in the bad, one day everything will fall into place, the mosaic will form and everything will be as it should be. The main thing is not to forget to thank fate for this.