There is a wide variety of literature about pets. Undoubtedly, one of the most beloved pets is hamsters. The Internet is filled with materials about these funny pussies. However, this article will not be devoted to the problem of caring for them and the proper balanced feeding of such animals. Its several sections contain jokes about hamsters.
Indeed, if “summer is a small life”, then the hamster is a small bear.
Beasts in China
Forest animals gathered for gatherings. The bear says dreamily: "When I go to China, everyone will call me Mren there."
The fox, too, was not averse to fantasizing and said: “And when I go to China, everyone will call me Lren.” The hare did not want to lag behind them and proudly declared: “I will also go on vacation to China. They will give me the name Zren. ” The hamster thought and resentfully said: “But I don’t want to go there at all!”
Female rage
Recently, jokes about hamsters and blondes have gained great popularity. Here are some of them.
Brunette with a blonde swear. In a fit of anger, the blonde menacingly says: "I am telling you for the last time, do not wake the beast in me!" To this, her friend replies: “I'm not afraid of hamsters, only horses.”
Two representatives of the fair sex with light hair color purchased a hamster in a pet store. One blonde says another: “Listen, we did not think about the most important thing - how will we distinguish between them?” They puzzled over this problem for a long time, but suddenly one of them got an insight and she said: “We will do this: I will cut off one of my paws. It turns out that mine will have three limbs, and yours will have four. ” On this and stopped. When the girls put the hamsters in a cage, one of the animals was upset that he did not have enough paws. He decided to correct this injustice and bit off his friend's leg. Blondes came to the park, sat on a bench and decided to admire their pets. Suddenly, they saw that the number of limbs for each of them was the same again. A smart blonde submits a new idea: “Let's tear off one paw again. So we can distinguish my animal from yours. " Her friend again happily accepted her offer. When the hamsters were in the same cage, the two-legged individual bit off one limb, which, in her opinion, was superfluous. The girls, having noticed this, again resorted to their favorite method. This was repeated until the animals were left completely without paws. Then the quick-witted blonde exclaimed: “I came up with! Let mine be white and yours black. ”
Sad statistics
Jokes about hamsters are widespread thanks to the funny appearance of these little animals. Here is a joke in which this quality of pets is ridiculed.
According to Russian police, theft of iPhones and hamsters has recently become more frequent. Experts for a long time could not understand what was happening. The solution turned out to be quite simple: the thing is to use the box from the gadget to transport these animals.
Conversation of two friends
One friend says to another: “Imagine, our former classmate Kolka bought a hamster! He lives with him in a three-liter can! ”
“So what's so surprising?” - the man asks. A friend says with a laugh: “Imagine: a hamster has to swim all day in brine, next to cucumbers, tomatoes and garlic!”
Miniature version
This joke about hamsters is very relevant today, given the current fashion for everything miniature: dogs, plants and much more.
A real man, as you know, must plant a tree ... Well and so on. But the modern representative of the stronger sex can use an improved version. You need to grow a hamster, build a birdhouse and nail it on a tree and in no case do not forget to regularly water ficus or aloe.
There is another version of this joke.
A real hog should plant an oak tree, build a stable and grow a piglet.
kind boy
Among the jokes about hamsters there are also examples of real black humor, for example, the following.
An 11-year-old boy asked his parents to give him a fur cover for an iPhone on his next birthday. Mom went to a specialty store, but, to her great regret, they told her there that they had run out of such accessories.
When she reported this news to her little son, he thought for a while and said: “It's okay! If they don’t have a fur cover for an iPhone, then give me a big hamster. ”
Furry sages
Among the jokes about hamsters there are also rather strange ones, which can even be called surreal.
Here is one of them.
In the paradise for hamsters, two individuals are talking. One puffer asks another: “Tell me, please, about how you got here, that is, about your death.”
The comrade answers him: “As you probably know, we belong to a special kind of animals that have their own destiny, their own role in the global process of world history. We are destined to be victims for the sake of the lives of others ... "
Another hamster, intrigued, asks him: "Well, how did you all the same die?"
He answers him: "I drowned in the bowl from which the dog was fed."
Funny hamsters
Well-known trainer decided for fun to go on a weekend to the market, where they sell different pets. Walks through the ranks of merchants with dogs, cats and other animals. He did not find anything interesting for himself there. Suddenly he sees some old man holding funny hamsters on an iron dish. The animals have fun dancing a complex dance. The trainer, as if enchanted, looked at strange animals for half an hour, and then offered the old man to sell them to him for a large amount. Grandfather immediately agreed. A circus worker enters the arena in the evening with an iron dish on which hamsters sit. He solemnly raises them above his head. But to his amazement, the pussies did not want to dance. In general, the number failed. The trainer comes to the market the next day and begins to make claims to his grandfather: "Hamsters do not dance!" And the old man calmly looked at him and asked, “Son, didn’t you try to hold the lighter at the bottom of the dish?”
About death
Funny jokes about hamsters are sometimes associated with such a gloomy event as death.
A man has a day off; he sits alone at home watching TV and watches football. Suddenly the doorbell rings. He looks through the peephole, asks: “Who is there?”, But sees no one, and there is no answer to the question either. Then he opens and becomes a witness to a terrible picture - death is before him. She looks like she is often depicted in different paintings: a hood, a black hoodie, a braid ...
But only she is very small, barely noticeable. Death tells him: “Che was afraid?” I didn’t come for you, but for your hamster. "
There are also jokes about hamsters on a literary subject. Here is one of them.
The German writer Erich Maria Remarque said that love lasts three years. The same period is equal to the average life span of a hamster. So, you can use these pussies as an indicator. The hamster died - it means that soon the love will come to an end.
Under the canopy of a parachute
This humorous collection concludes with a joke about hamsters and paratroopers.
How do they differ from each other? Once such a question was asked to the Armenian radio. Here is how the announcer answered: “Paratroopers can parachute, but hamsters do not. Because the pussies think that the plane is a big cage. If they leave it, they will stop feeding. If the hamster jumps with the cage, then he can't pull the ring. "
In this article, you read a selection of the funniest jokes about hamsters.
As you can see, these animals often inspire people to create small comic stories.