Each of us can probably recall at least one case from our life when an anecdote heard or read in time could raise a bad mood. Where and when this kind of folk art first appeared, it is now difficult to determine. With confidence, we can only say that while vices are alive in society, such stories will be in demand.
Funny stories and jokes about animals are always very popular. After all, their stories give people the opportunity to look at their actions allegorically and with humor. We hope that the selection presented in this article will be of interest to the reader.
Jokes about animals in the forest
The authors of these short tales often draw an analogy between humans and animals, pointing out the similarities between the laws of real and stone jungle. In the habits of this or that beast it is easy to see traits characteristic of various types of people. And certain problems of relationships in society are ridiculed by jokes about animals using the example of a fictional forest community.
A monkey sits on a palm tree, chews bananas, suddenly sees: the fox is racing somewhere with all its legs.
- Hey fox, what happened?
- Yes, we have a new leadership in the forest. Introduce taxes on the fur. It is necessary to change the place of residence, because the skin will be removed.
Hearing such news, the monkey left the bananas and rushed to run, so much so that the fox surpassed. The fox was surprised at such a turn and shouted at the monkey in the wake.
- And where are you going? You have nothing to fear from your bare ass.
The monkey answers without stopping.
- I don’t seem to know our orders. From the Holozady just start.
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One day in the forest there is a hare and a raccoon. The hare asks.
- How are you? Nobody offends? Just tell me, I'll figure it out lively!
Raccoon sadly replies:
- Yes, my situation is bad. If the wolf meets, it will certainly beat. So I try not to show him eyes.
The hare with pretense of efficiency is in charge.
- Well, Serenky just will not offend, so he deserves it!
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One sunny morning, the bears woke up in their comfortable lair. Teddy bear ran to the kitchen.
“Who ate from my bowl, drank from my cup, and ate my porridge?” - shouting Teddy Bear.
- Someone ate from my bowl too, and there is no porridge! shouts the bear.
A bear comes into the kitchen and says:
- Yes, you are tired! Every morning the same thing! The dishes will not wash themselves, but I have not cooked porridge yet!
About forest authorities
Allegorical ridicule of rash acts that sin not only ordinary people, but also the powerful of this world - a favorite topic of folk humor. Therefore, the joke about the king of animals often comes in handy when it is necessary to cheer up in difficult working moments.
A lion and a lioness calmly sit in their den, suddenly a monkey climbs onto a neighboring tree and begins to insult a mighty lion.
The lioness is angry and says: “King of the jungle, how did you allow this little monkey to offend you? You must punish her. ”
“You are right, but you know, I am the king of the jungle, and I can not stoop to the level of such a creature. Let's just ignore him. ”
The lioness sat silently in amazement, but the monkey did not let up. And at some point, the lioness lost her patience: "I can not allow such a disrespect and the lesson teach the monkey."
The lioness chased the monkey for a long time. In the process of chasing, she ran out of the jungle and was at a construction site. He sees that the monkey sneaks into the pipe, and jumps behind it. The pipe was narrow and the lioness got stuck.
Seeing what happened, the monkey landed behind her.
“Who is a bad girl? Who is a bad girl? ” - the monkey shouts and hits the lioness on the ass. This continues for several minutes. Having enjoyed the humiliation of the lioness, the monkey leaves with a grin on his face.
After a long struggle, the lioness finally gets out of the pipe. Suffered and completely embarrassed, she returns home to the jungle and to her king.
"How did the hunt go?" the lion asked curiously.
The lioness could not even look at him.
“Ahh, she took you to a construction site, didn't she?”
Instructive
Funny and funny jokes about animals often point out the absurd actions of people, contrasting them with the reasonable behavior of our smaller brothers.
- Late at night, a thief climbed into the house. Making his way through the darkness, he heard a voice: "Jesus is watching you." The thief looked around and saw nothing. Continuing to crawl, he again heard: "Jesus is watching you." In a dark corner the thief saw a cage with a parrot and asked him: “Did you say that Jesus is watching me?” The parrot replied: "Yes." Calming down, the attacker asked: "What is your name?" The parrot replied: "Clarence." The thief said: “This is a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot called you Clarence? ” The parrot replied: "The same one who called the Rottweiler Jesus."
- One day a man went to visit a friend. Entering the house, he was amazed when he saw that his friend was playing chess with his dog. For a while, the man looked at the game in amazement. “I hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. "This is the smartest dog I've ever seen." “No, this dog is not so smart! - replied a friend. “I beat him in three out of five games.”
Common jokes about animals
Despite the fact that folk humor is quite “peppy”, its sparkle often hits the target, since situations that are ridiculed are understandable to everyone. However, in this manner, anecdotes about animals are not perceived by the listener as acutely as they are about people.
- It so happened that in the pit dug by the hunters, different animals fell. At the beginning of the wolf, then the fox, and then the pig. Piglet is worse than anyone, because the outcome is clear. The fox is also worried about her fate. Only the wolf sees the pros in this situation. The fox is a very attractive lady, and the piglet will fit as a romantic dinner. The wolf explained to the fox that he needed to be fond of him, because well-fed and satisfied it is easier to get out of the pit. The fox agreed. They began to get to the piglet, and he finally offers to perform a song. The wolf agreed. The howls of the piglet were heard by the hunters, and they seized everyone. They bind a wolf, and he thinks: “Well, not a fool? There was dinner, sex was scheduled, so no, I wanted a show! ”
- An elephant and a camel exercise wit. The elephant asks: “Why do you have boobs on your back?” The camel replies: “Ha! This is a ridiculous question from an animal with a member hanging from the muzzle. "
- Two nuns from Europe come to New York. Somewhere they read that Americans eat hot dogs, so they want to try this strange dish. Walking around the city, they hear: “Hot dog! Eat a hot dog! ” Nuns rushing to the seller to buy a couple! When the first lady unfolds her hot dog, her face turns white, panting, she asks her friend: “What part of the dog did you get ?!”
- An old man at the age of 90 walked in the park and found a talking frog. When he lifted her, the frog said: "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess, and you can have me for a whole week." The old man puts a frog in his pocket. She shouts: “Hey, okay, if you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess, and you will make love to me for a month.” The old man looks at the frog and says: "At my age, I would rather just talk to you, frog."
With double meaning
Especially rzhachnye jokes about animals - those that have a double meaning.
- What is the difference between a politician and a snail? One of them is a slippery pest that leaves an unpleasant trace everywhere, and the other is just a snail.
- Why does a squirrel swim on its back? Prefers to keep her nuts dry!
- How does a mouse feel after taking a shower? Clean to squeak.
- Can a kangaroo jump above a skyscraper? Of course, the building cannot jump.
- It was the first birthday of a mosquito who flew out of the house. When the whole mosquito family returned home, the mosquito father asked: “How was your debut?” Komarik replied: “Just fine. They all clapped me! ”
With an unexpected ending
Jokes about animals, the meaning of which is clear only in the end, are also very popular.
- The magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience changed every week, so his program included the same tricks. However, there was a problem. The captain's parrot constantly watched the show and began to understand the trick technique. During the show, he started shouting secrets: “This is not the same hat.”, “He is hiding flowers under the table.”, “Hey, cards in his sleeve!” The magician was furious, but could not do anything, because it was, after all, the captain's parrot. Once a ship wrecked. The magician and the parrot escaped and drifted by the ocean on the wreckage of the ship. Staring at each other with hatred, they did not utter a word. This went on all day, then another. Finally, after a week, the parrot said: “OK, I give up. Where's the damn boat? ”
- Two bats hang upside down on a branch. One asks the other: “Can you recall your worst day last year?” She replies: “Of course, this is the day I had diarrhea!”
Moral
Sometimes jokes about animals help to take a critical look at moral issues.
- Religious woman bought a parrot. At home, she found a bird shouting: "I am a whore, I am a whore!" The embarrassed lady does not know what to do, and turns to the priest for help. He says: “I have a godly male parrot who sits in his cage and prays all day. Perhaps if we put your bird in mine, she will understand her mistake and become more educated. " The next day, the woman brought her bird to the priest’s house and put her in a cage to a pious parrot. After a few seconds, her parrot began to shout: "I am a whore, I am a whore!" The priest's parrot exclaimed: “Glory to the Almighty, my prayers have been heard!”
- The priest, pastor and rabbi want to find out which of them is better at work. Therefore, everyone goes to the forest, finds a bear and tries to re-educate him. Later they are going. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read the Catechism to him and sprinkled it with holy water. Next week is his first communion. ” The pastor continues: “I found a bear by the stream and preached the holy word, the bear believed and allowed me to baptize him.” Both look at the rabbi. He thoughtfully says: "Perhaps I should not have started with circumcision."